The Axel Prescription
by Psychoticbunny
Summary: Roxas is now in 9th grade and lately his life is becoming too much for him to handle. What happens when he meets a handsome redhead with problems possibly worse than his? AxelxRoxas Warning: Lot's of death. ON HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

Psychoticbunny: Yo! This is my fourth fic! Before you read this, I would just like you to know that this story is not, I repeat, not happy. Or funny. Or joyous. Yeah you get the point. So if you want to read something funny, you can check out one of my other stories. Right. Onto the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

Lawyers: Aw.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (later), cursing (maybe), character death (and lots of it), and suicide.

Roxas: Great. The only time the fanfic's about me, it's really depressing. This sucks.

"…" is talking. Exp: "Hi I'm Bob."

'…' is flashback talking. Exp: 'Hi I'm Bob,' he had said.

Enjoy!

---

The problem started in middle school. Seventh grade to be exact. The medicine wasn't working. Nothing ever worked. By ninth grade I was ready to give up on life. And this is where my story begins.

"As I was saying," said the old man in front of me, "you need to pull your act together. If you keep on failing chemistry, you will leave me with no choice but to put you in Summer School."

I nodded my head to show that I understood. Of course I did. It was hard not to notice the negative comments on my tests and the frowns on my parents' faces when they got my report card.

"If you fail another test, I'm afraid I'll have to assign you a tutor." He sighed, "Now here's a pass for your next class. Please try to improve."

I gave another nod before exiting the empty classroom and hurrying off to my next class.

What was the point of improving? I had already gotten lectures from the other teachers about the same thing. About how I needed to get motivated. About how they were going to call my parents if I kept on failing. Next would be a lecture form my parents and another psychologist to waste money on.

What was the point of living in general? One thing was for sure: I wasn't good at it. School wasn't the only thing in my life that was messed up. My family was going through difficult times because my cousin, Sora, had recently fallen seriously ill. My mother and father often visited him, leaving me behind with an empty house and our cat. My parents, they didn't like me. They had always liked Sora better. He was "the good one," the one that always did everything perfectly while I was "the bad one," the one who always the one who had problems with everything and screwed up life. They acted as if he was their son and I was just some orphan kid they picked up off the streets. I didn't care if Sora died. I wanted him to die! How come he got everything and I was left with nothing?

I came to my locker and angrily ripped it open, shoving my books inside. I took out my other books and slammed the abused blue piece of metal shut, then proceeding to rest my head on it in an attempt to cool my anger. I rubbed my spiky blond locks on the cool metal surface until a teacher spotted me and yelled at me to get to class. I sped off towards my math class.

"Roxas, you're late," said Mrs. Rosenbloom, a middle-aged woman who wore glasses with a circular frame. Her light brown hair was held up in a tight neat bun at the top of her head. Her hazel eyes gave me a harsh glare as she grudgingly accepted the pass I had gotten from Mr. Freed.

I scurried to the back of the classroom and slipped into my seat.

"Now as I was saying before I was interrupted," I felt like two holes would appear in my eyes if Mrs. Rosenbloom kept on glaring at me, "we have a new student. Please say hello to Hayner."

An unfamiliar boy sitting two seats away from me stood up shyly. I guess I hadn't noticed him before. A couple of people smiled and waved. I wasn't one of them.

Math class crept by slowly and steadily as usual.

"Before we leave," Mrs. Rosembloom added at about one minute until the bell rang, "would someone be kind enough to lead Hayner to his next class?"

A couple of students raised their hands.

"Roxas!" Mrs. Rosenbloom called suddenly, "You may escort Hayner. Now remember class, you have a test on Tuesday so be sure to study!"

My classmates all sped out the door at the sound of the bell. I went over to get Hayner who was currently struggling to gather his things.

I hadn't had much of a chance to look at him earlier. He was the average height and was on the skinny side. His short blond hair flipped all over the place as he hurriedly scribbled down the homework on the chalkboard, his large brown eyes darting to and fro. All in all, nothing about him was spectacular.

"Thanks for waiting," he said.

I looked up to find that he was done packing up.

"No problem," I muttered inaudibly.

"Let's see…" he started as he pulled out his schedule, "next I've got…lunch!"

"Oh same," I said quietly.

"Hey dude, is something wrong?" he asked with a genuinely concerned face.

Was something wrong? Of course something was wrong! Everything was wrong!

"No, I'm fine. Just kind of tired," I lied adding a fake yawn afterwards.

"Okay then. I guess we should go now," the kid, what was his name? Oh yes. Hayner said.

"Okay," I said.

I led him to his locker and then to the cafeteria. He made several attempts to talk to me on the way down, however, I ended all of the conversations immediately. I didn't like talking to people. Hayner seemed slightly upset by this.

"Dude, are you sure that you're okay?" he asked again.

"Yes," I answered.

We turned left and went down a flight up stairs to be greeted by two large wooden doors.

"Here it is," I said in a monotone.

I entered the noisy room and directed Hayner to the lunch line. I had brought my own lunch so I departed from him to sit in my usual corner. No one else sat at my table, but I was just fine with that.

"Yo," said a familiar blond about five minutes later.

"Yo," I replied with a trace of a scowl on my face. Hayner was beginning to get annoying. He was almost like a persistent gnat.

"Can I sit here?" he asked politely. I shrugged in response.

"Thanks," he said. He took the seat next to me and started to chatter about random things. I sent him a glare, but he didn't seen to notice it.

Much to my dismay, it turned out we had the rest of our classes together. Currently, it was fourth period. I wondered if I would be able to stay sane for another five periods with him stalking me.

"Listen," I said, cutting him off as he blabbed about something that had to do with volleyball, "I really don't like you. I've been glaring at you for the last ten minutes or so, but you still won't shut up. So I'm just going to be blunt. Leave me alone."

His mouth formed a small "o" of surprise. He turned back to his sandwich and stared at it for a while.

I didn't care much for peoples' feelings; it wasn't like they ever cared for mine, yet seeing Hayner looking so pathetic and defeated made a rare pang of guilt shoot through my heart.

"I'm sorry," I found myself apologizing, "It's just that my life's been kind of rocky lately and I guess I'm just a bit cranky."

"Nah, it's my fault. I'm sorry I'm annoying, but this is the first time since elementary school that I've been able to sit and talk with someone like this."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh…I…I…It's…uh it's…it's n-nothing," he stuttered.

"No, what do you mean?" I repeated.

"I…I…I have to go!" he exclaimed.

He chucked his half-eaten sandwich in the nearest garbage can before disappearing into the massive crowd of hungry teenagers. I, too, dumped my lunch in the trash and sat back down in my corner. I had just made another student hate me. Yay.

---

The white door made a small thud as I didn't take care to close it gently. I left my shoes stranded near the front door. My parents weren't home anyway. Our cat, Olette, padded up to me and rubbed her soft brown head against my right leg, greeting me with a purr.

"Hello Olette," I said as I bent down to stroke her head lovingly. She let out another purr.

"Roxas?" called a female voice.

A pale girl with sparkling blue eyes walked up to me.

"Namine! I didn't notice you!" I said.

Namine was a good friend of mine. She was home-schooled and her visits were scarce, but she was the only friend I had.

We met eight years ago. I was crying on the swings on the school playground when she sauntered up to me.

'Why are you crying?' she asked.

'M-my parents are m-m-mad at me!' I sobbed to the strange girl.

And strange she was indeed. Not many children my age could be seen in plain white dresses and matching sandals that were clearly several sized too big for them. I later found out that it was her parents' way of saving money: They bought her one dress and one pair of shoes and let her grow into them, saving them the trouble of buying her new clothes every year.

'Why are they mad?' she questioned.

'I g-g-got a b-bad grade on m-my spelling t-t-test!' I cried.

'That's not so bad, is it?'

'It wouldn't be if I didn't fail every spelling test. I only got two right this time,' I said, calming down after about an hour of crying, 'I just wish I wasn't stupid.'

'Who says you're stupid?' she asked.

'Everyone,' I said.

'I don't.'

'Huh?'

'I don't think you're stupid.'

She smiled warmly.

'I don't think you're stupid, Roxas.'

'How do you know my name?' I asked in surprise.

'I dunno. You just seemed like a Roxas.'

A couple of days later, she had shown up at my door, saying that it had "just felt like my house."

"Hey Roxas!" she greeted, "Long time, no see!"

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Wanna go on a walk?" she suggested.

We often went on walks, talking about various topics or problems that had come up in our lives. I could still remember our first one. It was hard to forget.

'They call me a witch,' said the blond girl suddenly.

'Huh? Who calls you a witch?' I asked.

'My parents. They call me a witch. I am a witch. Think about it. I know peoples' names before they introduce themselves; I know where they live even if they haven't given me their address. If I really put my mind to it, I can find out anything about a person even if I have only seen them once in my life. How did I know Sora was sick? I'm a witch.'

She wasn't crying. She was just staring at the ground like there was nothing more interesting in the world to look at. I peeked through her uneven bangs to see her usual bright and cheery eyes overflowing with such hurt it made my heart ache.

'I guess you hate me now. It's okay to say you do. I'm used to it by now. No one likes the witch child,' she stated as if she was simply making a comment about the weather.

'That isn't true,' I disagreed.

'Don't lie to me. I'm just fine with everyone hating me. I'm happy like this,' she said.

'I already told you, that isn't true,' I repeated firmly, 'Everyone can't hate you because unless I don't count, I know one person who likes you.'

She lifted her head up and her eyes met with mine as she let out a disbelieving, 'Really?'

'Hey, if you can accept me, the stupid kid, then I can accept you, the witch kid,' I said as a grin snuck its way onto my face.

She smiled shyly in return.

"Okay," I said as I gathered my shoes and slipped them back on. She joined me at the door and we stepped outside.

---

Psychoticbunny: Okay. I just want to make sure that everyone realizes that ROXAS AND NAMINE ARE ONLY FRIENDS! There will be absolutely NO romantic relationship between them. No offense to fans, but that is one couple that I just can't stomach. This story is AxelxRoxas. (Don't worry. Axel will come in later.) Also, if I'm getting the eye colors wrong, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway. I also apologize if the characters are ooc and apologize in advance for slow and tedious updates. I'm a bad updater. Here are the characters' ages:

Roxas: 14

Namine: 14

Hayner: 14

Olette: I dunno. 2 maybe? It won't matter.

Mr. Freed: Who cares? He's some old geezer I put in there because I didn't feel like making Organization XIII teachers. They'll have more important parts. Trust me, he won't be in the story a lot.

Mrs. Rosenbloom: Same as Mr. Freed.

Roxas: Please review! Free pie for all reviewers!


	2. Chapter 2

Psychoticbunny: Yo! Sorry this wasn't updated yesterday, but I wasn't feeling well on Saturday and wouldn't let me upload the document on Sunday. Now, review replies for anonymous reviews will be here and non-anonymous (?) reviews will just be sent a review reply. If I don't reply, I hereby give you permission to bug me until I do. Here we go!

Cherry- Thank you very much! Enjoy the chapter:)

Disclaimer: I'm still working on the diabolical plan to take over Square Enix (is that how you spell it? I forgot) and Disney so I can own Kingdom Hearts. It'll be done any day now… any day…

Warnings: Axel is coming in later so you'll have to wait for the shounen-ai, but don't worry. It'll be there. No one has died yet, but they will. Oh yes they will. Muahahaha! Ahahaha! Ahahaha-

Roxas: (insert my name here), did you take your medicine today?

Psychoticbunny: Maybe. Wait. HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME???

Roxas: Umm… you're wearing a nametag.

Psychoticbunny: Oh. On with the chapter then.

---

We stepped outside into the chilly October day. It was fairly cold, but not so much that a jacket was necessary.

"There's a new kid in school. He seemed pretty annoying at first, but then he told me that he hadn't spoken to anyone since elementary school and ran away when I questioned him further," I said.

"Hey Roxas, what if… what if we can't see each other anymore?" Namine asked suddenly.

"What?" I said, caught off-guard by her odd outburst.

"It's… well… it's my parents. They…they don't want me anymore and they're… they're… they're going to send me to an orphanage. I'm afraid… I'm afraid that they might limit my freedom…and… and I might never see you again," she confessed sadly.

I turned to her to find that she was staring at her feet, a habit of hers. When she was sad she would do this.

"Namine," I began, "how come you never cry?"

"Huh?" she said as she lifted her head to give me a questioning look.

"Well, you tell me all of these horrible things that happen to you, yet I can't remember you shedding even one single tear. Think about it," I pointed out.

"I guess it's just because…it's just that…" she said, thinking up a good answer, "I dunno. I guess that it's just so nice with you and everything it's hard to be sad, but I suppose I'll have to learn to live without that now."

She walked to me and wrapped her skinny arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest. I timidly placed my own arms on her. Truth be told, it was the first time we ever hugged.

"Namine," I started.

"I just wanted to do this before I leave," she interrupted, "I just don't get why they're sending me away. I tried so hard. I really did."

She was shaking a bit in my tight grasp.

"Why can't they accept me? I really did everything the best that I could. So why? Why?" Her voice was cracking.

All of a sudden, she sobbing into my chest, her breaths coming out in short gasps.

"Why?" she cried, "I don't want to leave! I don't want to leave you Roxas! You… you… you mean everything to me! How can I… how can I just leave that all behind?"

A new wave of tears overcame her as she sobbed her heart out. If only I could help her… if only I could save her…

But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything but hold her tightly as if it would protect her from her parents and the orphanage and whatever else that was out there.

"Namine, do you have any idea where the orphanage you'll be going to is?" I asked her.

"Yes," she said, calming down, "The address is 7 Windsor Court."

"How about I come and visit you while you while you're there?" I offered.

"You would do that for me?" she said.

"Of course, Namine."

I began to loosen my grip and let my arms fall back to my sides when Namine stopped me.

"Please. Just hold on a little longer."

I obliged.

---

The next day in school, Hayner tried his best to avoid me. Key word being tried. I knew the school inside out and I was again assigned to ferry him to and fro, therefore, he had a little bit of a disadvantage. Little meaning huge.

"Hey listen," I called after a particularly troublesome chase, "If you don't want me to ask about what you were saying in Lunch yesterday, I won't. Just stop running away from me. You're making me late to all of my classes."

"Sorry," he apologized, "I was just worried that you were coming after me to beat me up or something for running away so spontaneously."

"That's fine, but I just want you to know that I'm not really the "beat-up-people-because-I'm-mad-at-them" type. Actually, I don't like fighting or violence at all."

"That good," he sighed in relief.

"Well, come on." I gestured for him to join me.

"Hey Roxas," he said.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you… um… if you wanted to come over to my house after school or something," he offered shyly.

"Sure, but I need to stop at my house before so I can feed my cat. If you want, we can just go to my house," I suggested.

"Okay," he said with a small nod.

We put an end to our conversation when we came to our classroom.

---

"Aw! She's so cute!" Hayner exclaimed at the sight of Olette.

I walked over to her and scooped her up in my arms.

"Wanna pet her?" I asked.

"Yeah!" he said childishly.

Olette cautiously sniffed at his hand and then plunked her head back on my arm, deciding that Hayner wasn't a threat. He reached over and began stroking her small head gingerly. She purred in delight.

"Look. She likes you," I said.

"We should get started on our homework, shouldn't we?" Hayner pointed out, reluctantly withdrawing his hand.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, gently setting the squirming feline in my arms down.

Olette, seeing as she was no longer the center of attention, stalked off in the direction of my room.

"By the way, where are your parents?" Hayner asked.

"Oh, they're out," I replied.

Seeing how my body tensed at the topic of my parents, he decided to cease questioning me about them and began talking about how the science teacher had a big nose or something. I wasn't really listening. I didn't speak again until we were finished with our homework.

"Sorry," Hayner apologized.

"What for?" I asked.

"For bringing up your parents. I can see that it's uncomfortable for you to talk about them. Sorry, but I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," I assured him.

"Well, whenever you need to talk to someone about your parents, I'm here for you," he said.

It caught me by surprise. How long had it been? How long had it been since someone besides Namine had shown me this? This… this… this kindness.

"I should know best about parent problems. To tell you the truth, I have one myself," he added.

"You do?" I said.

"Yeah," he replied.

"What is it?"

"We'll make a trade," he said suddenly.

"A trade?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you my problem with my parents, but in exchange, you have to tell me yours. I don't like it when my friend is unhappy. I at least want to know the cause of it."

My friend.

The two words bounced around in my head like two rubber balls. I was his friend. But not just his friend.

I was Hayner's _only_ friend. He hadn't said that he didn't like seeing one of his friends unhappy, but his _friend_ unhappy. And I had only one question in my mind.

"What happened to you Hayner?"

---

Psychoticbunny: Ooh! Cliffhanger! Sorry, but I just had to put one in! It was just the perfect moment! Now, before any of you complain, the reason Namine wasn't stuttering like crazy when she was crying was that I wanted her crying to be more controlled. Anyway, if any of you out there like music, then listen to Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan or something. It doesn't matter. Just type in Casimir Puloski Day on and it will be there. It's a really sad song though. I almost cried. I'm a crybaby! T-T. Anyway, review, review, review!


	3. Chapter 3

Psychoticbunny: Hello! I'm back!

Roxas: Everybody hide!

Psychoticbunny: What was that?

Roxas: …uhhh…nothing?

Psychoticbunny: I'm sorry I didn't update last week, but I didn't have the time and the more time you give me, the longer the chapter will be! Anyway, because I only got four reviews, I figured, what the heck. I'll just list them here. So thank you very much Axel's Iris is Roxas, FantasyDreamLand13, Sorasoul1 and SliferHeart. You guys rule. So do all of the people who reviewed the first chapter. By the way, the characters are probably all going to be ooc throughout the entire fic besides Namine. Anyway, onto the disclaimer and warnings!

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts it would have turned out… different. Very different. 'starts laughing insanely'

Warnings: Axel is coming in this chapter, but Roxas won't immediately fall in love with him or anything like that. But there's gonna be shounen-ai. Just wait a bit longer, 'kay? There's probably going to be some curse words in here. No one has died yet, but I came up with a really good way to kill some characters! Ahahaha! Ahahaha!

Roxas: That's it. No more Death Note for you. 'takes away Death Note'

Psychoticbunny: NOOOO! LIGHT-KUN! 'melts into pile of mush'

Roxas: 'sweatdrop' Just read the chapter while I clean her up.

---

Hayner sat quietly for a moment, fiddling with the corner of his science homework.

"Well, I'll start from the beginning," he said, "I come from a very strict catholic family. I was sent to a private catholic school and everything, but I never minded. It was kind of annoying to be so religious, but I was able to deal with it. At least until middle school."

I nodded my head to show I was paying attention.

"So in middle school," he continued, "everyone began to change. They started getting crushes and stuff. That would've been fine though, if I were the same."

"You didn't get any crushes? Neither did I. That's not so bad," I interrupted.

"No, that wasn't problem. The problem was… the problem _is_… I don't get crushes on girls. I get crushes on boys," he admitted.

"So you're gay. I guess that could cause problems, but how do your parents fit in?" I asked.

"I'll get to that. Anyway, eventually, I felt like I had to tell someone. So I did. I told my best friend, Pence. We knew each other since we were four; I thought I could trust him. But then a week later people started to avoid me. No one would talk to me. I had no idea what was going on until one day some bullies came up to me. They started teasing me, calling me a fag and stuff like that. Luckily, only the students knew until eighth grade. Somehow the information leaked out to my parents. They were disgusted by me and disowned me. I found this place where I could rent a room for a low price and managed to find a decent job."

"I'm so sorry," I said.

"It's fine. I have a friend here so I'm happy!" He smiled at me, but it was with a serious face that he told me, "Okay. I told you my story. Now it's your turn."

"Okay," I said, "I'll start by saying that I was never the brightest bulb in the box. I was always getting bad grades. To be put simply, I was stupid. Slow. Retarded. I could never do anything right. My cousin, Sora, on the other hand, was perfect. And he was nice too. I was nothing compared to Sora so I tried harder. I always studied and everything, but I never improved.

"Seventh grade was when it really got out of hand. Sora fell seriously ill. He was always going into cardiac arrest and at one point he fell unconscious for two weeks straight. My parents were always visiting him. I was usually left behind at home. They got Olette around that time so she would keep me company. It was one of those days when Olette decided under my bed and I was in the kitchen doing my homework when my real problem started."

At this point, Hayner leaned towards me.

"I started thinking," I said, "thinking about my life. And it was… I dunno. It was like I was falling… falling into a giant never-ending hole inside my mind. Eventually, my parents noticed my behavior and took me to a physiatrist. I tried a couple of drugs like Prozac and such. Group therapy. Plenty of things. Nothing worked. So here I am."

"Sorry. At least my parents took good care of me when they thought I was straight," Hayner said.

"Well, I have a really good friend that keeps me company when I'm lonely. Actually, she recently had to move to an orphanage and I'm planning on visiting her on Saturday. Do you want to come with me?" I invited.

"That sounds fun. Sure! I'll come! I love meeting new people!" he exclaimed.

I smiled at his childish behavior. He acted like a puppy with a sugar rush. I let out a giggle at my odd simile.

"What is it? What's so funny?" Hayner asked.

I burst out laughing as he continued to fulfill my strange description.

"What? What? I don't get it! Do I have something on my shirt?"

I fell onto the floor and rolled around, gripping my stomach.

"And you say you're depressed," I heard him mutter under his breath.

---

We stood in front of a tall rickety building. The windows were cracked and the shutters rattled eerily every time a gust of wind blew by.

After about five minutes of staring, Hayner bravely marched up to the door and hesitatingly pressed the doorbell.

For a moment, nothing happened. The only thing that could be heard was the unnerving howl of the wind.

Then, the large rusty door made a terrible screeching sound as it opened to reveal an imposing man with flaming red hair and bright green eyes. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and baggy jeans. He had two red triangular tattoos, one on each cheek. Also on his face was a faint pink tinge and judging by the way he swaying around and clinging to the door for support, I concluded that he was drunk.

"Who're ya 'n what're ya doin' 'ere!" he slurred.

"Hi! W-we were g-g-going to v-visit a friend!" Hayner squeaked.

Amusement swirled in the back of the man's hazy eyes. "'Ere ta visit a frien' eh?" To my surprise, he started to giggle. "'Ey Ze'on! Ze'on! Come 'n listen ta this! Theys think they're gonna fin' a frien' 'ere in this shit hole!"

"Get out of the way Axel," said a deeper voice and, to my relief, sober voice.

The man now identified as Axel lapsed into a fit of giggles as he was violently shoved away from the doorway. In his place, stood another man. He was slightly shorter with blue-gray hair and ice blue eyes. The corners of his pale lips curved downwards to form a nasty scowl. He was wearing the same thing as Axel only he was holding a black shiny gun in his left hand. I gulped nervously.

"Ignore him," he said icily.

"Um hi. I'm Roxas and this is Hayner. We're here to see Namine uh… Ze'on, was it?" I finally said, extending my trembling hand.

"It's Zexion and I'll take you to her," he said as he began walking and gestured for us to follow.

I lowered my ignored hand to my side and scampered after him, Hayner close behind. Axel waltzed ahead of us, singing odd songs completely off key. He had to stop every few words to let out a deranged chuckle and so the journey to Namine's room was far from pleasant. I was more than happy when we finally came to a stop in front of a plain white door.

"Namine. Some of your friends are here," Zexion said as he gently knocked on the door.

The door creaked open and a pair of bright blue eyes peeked out.

"Roxas!" she exclaimed, "I missed you so much!"

Zexion pulled Axel away with him as he trudged back downstairs.

Namine had yanked the door open by now and I got a pretty good view of her room. It was plain and white, like her clothes, with a small bed in the corner and a long rectangular table with chairs at either end. A sketchpad rested in the center. The things that caught my attention, however, were all of the pictures taped up on her walls. I had always known Namine was a good artist, but the thing about all of the pictures was every one was a scene from my life. There was a picture of me crying on a swing in the park, a picture of Hayner talking to me at lunch, even a picture of a drunken Axel talking to a terrified Hayner.

Hayner gave a small cough.

"Oh yeah," I said, "Namine, this is Hayner. Hayner, Namine."

They both shyly waved to each other.

"Come on in," she he invited, stepping aside to allow us into the room.

We entered and I asked, "Namine. What are all of these pictures?"

"Those? Just some doodles of you and some random person. I came up with in my mind," she answered. "I don't know why I put Axel in this one, though. Hey, Hayner was it? You look an awful lot like the person I drew."

"Namine. All of these pictures-" I was cut off.

"I know that they're not the best and stuff, but I really love to draw and all…" she trailed off.

"No, that's not it. You're a wonderful artist!" –She smiled and blushed furiously- "But every scene is something in my life."

"Really? I think it's probably just a coincidence. I can't see the future, let alone draw it," she said quickly. It almost sounded like she was convincing herself.

I opened my mouth to say more, but shut it as I saw Namine's eyes begin to stray towards the ground.

"So what's up with those people who took us here?" Hayner asked.

"Them? I hope they didn't scare you," Namine said as I held in a snort. "They can come off pretty strong. Axel isn't always like that. You should come back when he's sober. And Zexion isn't as scary as he seems. He's really nice when you get to know him. And Larxene-"

"Who's Larxene?" I inquired.

"You haven't met her? Come. We can go meet her now. She's a lot less… imposing." Namine answered.

She led us through the large building. I spotted a few children, but they looked far from happy. A couple of them played half-heartedly with toys. They rest of them just sat around and stared at the wall opposite from them with emotionless eyes. There was something creepy about all of them. They all looked so… so… so…

"Here we are," Namine announced. She opened the door she had stopped at and gestured at us to go in.

"Hello Namine. Who are they? I haven't gotten any calls from parents," said a voice coming from the corner. I turned my attention to the source of it.

Sitting in the corner was a young woman in her early twenties, if I were to guess. She had light blond hair that resembled Namine's only hers was much shorter and drawn back into two pigtails. Her eyes were the also the same color of Namine's and I began to wonder whether they were somehow related. She was wearing a short-sleeved lavender shirt and a mini-skirt that was a darker shade of purple. Matching socks extended from plain black shoes to a bit above her knees. She was sitting with her legs propped up on a wooden desk on which a telephone, a notebook, and a small pencil laid. In the position she was currently in, it was quite easy to spot her underwear and I turned away, embarrassed, when I caught a glimpse of it.

Laughing as she realized what I was so embarrassed about, the woman lowered her legs into her chair and said, "So Namine. Are these the friends you were talking about?"

Namine nodded and smiled.

"You gonna introduce me or what?" she said impatiently.

"Oh, of course!" Namine replied, "Guys, this is Larxene. She helps run the orphanage. Larxene, this is Roxas and his friend Hayner."

Larxene looked at both Hayner and me for what felt like quite some time before shifting her gaze back towards Namine. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Okay," she finally said, "So Blondie A and Blondie B-" She looked at me and then Hayner- "how are you doing?"

"G-good," Hayner managed to say. It was obvious that he did not find Larxene any less imposing than Axel or Zexion.

"Fine." I answered.

She looked me over once again and then turned to Namine to say, "Axel would like Blondie A."

I thought back to the drunken man who had answered the door. I would have been happier if she had said he would hate me. I supposed it was better than Zexion liking me. Axel may have been annoying and even a bit creepy, but Zexion was plain old scary.

"And Blondie B looks like plenty of fun," she said with a grin that would make little kids cry. Hayner looked like he was about to do so.

"We're gonna leave now," Namine said, noticing the state of distress Hayner was in. She ushered us out of the room.

"Didn't you say _less_ imposing?" Hayner complained.

"Sorry," Namine apologized, " I guess she's taken a liking to you." She glanced at the clock and then added, "You should leave. It's almost time for _him _to be back."

"Who?" Hayner and I asked in unison.

"I'll tell you later. You just need to leave," she said, suddenly nervous. She practically shoved us out the door.

"Goodbye Roxas!" she called, "I'm really sorry about this, but please come back soon!"

The door was almost completely closed, but through the small sliver of an opening that was left, our eyes met for only a moment. Her vibrant blue eyes, once sparkling with joy, had dulled down, resembling the ones' of the children inside the orphanage.

They all looked so dead.

---

October slipped by and before I knew it, it was nearing Halloween.

"What are you gonna dress up as?" Hayner asked for about the seventh time that day.

"I already told you," I said exasperatedly, "I'm not going trick or treating!"

"But there's candy!" he protested.

"I'm too old to be excited by candy. The only reason I'd dress up is if I were invited to a party, but I'm probably the least popular kid in school. It's never gonna happen," I argued.

"People throw parties?" he said.

"Yeah. There's a really big one that gets thrown every year, but this guy, Seifer, is the guy who throws it and he hates my guts. He was on vacation for a while, but I hear he's coming back tomorrow. I don't know why he hates me so much, but he never misses a chance to make a complete fool out of me."

"That sucks," Hayner said sympathetically.

"Doesn't matter," I responded, "Let's just cross our fingers and pray and then maybe his plane will blow up, if we're lucky."

---

Psychoticbunny: There you are! I'm putting Seifer in! Yay Seifer! And I have another pairing besides AxelxRoxas, but I'm not gonna tell what it is! Now, here are the ages of the characters.

Axel: 21

Zexion: 22

Larxene: 21

_Him_: You'll find out when he comes in.

Seifer: 14

Children of the orphanage: Don't know. Don't care.

Psychoticbunny: I'm gonna try to update next Saturday/Sunday, but if it takes me longer, don't throw a fit. It's either because I don't have enough material to make a chapter or I got preoccupied and couldn't type it up.

Roxas: Everyone who reviews gets apples! An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Psychoticbunny: So _that's_ why my dad is never home!


	4. Chapter 4

Psychoticbunny: Yo! Whazzup? Feel free to yell out the answer! You might be my next-door neighbor! But if you don't live in America, you can just scream and pretend I can hear you!

Roxas: Are you gonna do the disclaimer or what?

Psychoticbunny: Shut up! I have review replies. And while we're on the topic of reviews, want you guys to know that I can write much faster when more people review. Can I get at least five? If you really want to you can review even more! Anyway, onto the replies.

Cherry- Yay! Someone wants an apple. You see people, apples _are_ good! Listen to cherry!

SilferHeart- I don't think that there are many people on this site who aren't at least a little bit insane. And if there are… KILL THEM! 'coughs' umm… IT WAS HE!

Roxas: What?

Police: That's it! You're coming with us!

Roxas: Hey! Wait! What? Nooooooooooo!

Psychoticbunny: Disclaimer time!

Disclaimer: You know, I've already written 33 disclaimers for Kingdom Hearts. 3 in this fic, 12 in Sora's Dream Girl, and 18 in My One and Only Love. My brain is pooped out! I'm just gonna take a break. You can look at the other 33.

Warnings: The shounen-ai will come in good time. Other than that, there is one curse word and even though 4 is the number of death and this is the fourth chapter, everyone is safe. For now. SPOILER They are not going to be safe next chapter! SPOILER

---

Much to my dismay, Seifer's plane did not blow up and he was back the next day. Unfortunately, it seemed that while he was on vacation, he had plenty of time to think of new insults. He strutted down the hall, throwing them at poor unsuspecting kids. I managed to avoid him, slipping into empty classrooms or bathrooms when he came near, but he managed to find me after school.

"Hey look! Roxas made a friend! Isn't that cute? I wonder how much he's paying him! I know _I _wouldn't stand next to that loser even if he paid me a million bucks!" Seifer said loudly. His friends, Rai and Fu, laughed.

Rai was all brawn and no brains. He was tall and broad-shouldered and his school uniform had several bulges where the fabric stretched from his muscles. However, no one was really sure whether or not he could really count past ten. He was currently grinning like the idiot he was.

Fu, on the other hand, was short and skinny. She usually kept quiet for an occasional insult or to laugh obnoxiously as Seifer mad some kid feel like crap. She tucked her shoulder-length purple hair behind her ears and flashed me a condescending smirk before glaring at me.

Seifer, the leader, gave me a similar smirk. I refrained from running up to him and ripping out every lock of his perfect blond hair. His sky blue eyes had a menacing look in them.

"I think that _you_ would be paying _him_," Hayner defended.

"You're new here, aren't you?" Seifer said, his smirk faltering. "I just want you to know that around here, I rule. This is my school, my town. And no one talks to me like that. No one."

At this, Hayner stepped back, intimidated by the statement, but then strode over to Seifer and said, "I don't see your name on it. I don't see any sign that says 'This town belongs to Seifer.'"

The smirk had disappeared now.

"Umm Hayner? I think we should go now. I really have to feed Olette and-" I muttered in an attempt to hint to Hayner that he was treading on thin ice, but he ignored me.

"I want you to know one thing," he told the scowling face of Seifer, "you mess with Roxas, you mess with me."

Seifer looked like he was about to explode. It was obvious that he was not used to being talked to like that. For a second it looked like he was going to punch Hayner's lights out. Then, he gave an unexpected smile.

"You know what? I like you. You've got guts. So I'm not gonna do anything to you. You free Saturday night?" he asked.

"Uh… oh! Yeah!" Hayner said. I could tell that he wasn't expecting that reaction either.

"You wanna come to my Halloween party?" he said.

Hayner's face lit up a bit, but then asked, "Roxas can come too, right?"

"Roxas?" Seifer replied. He looked at me for a moment. He knew Hayner wouldn't go to his party if he didn't invite so he reluctantly said, "Fine. He can come. It's at eight 'o clock."

He stalked off and Rai and Fu followed.

"Yay! We're going to a party!" Hayner exclaimed as soon as they disappeared from our view.

"Wow! I can't believe you talked to Seifer like that! Dude, you're my hero!" I said.

"It was nothing," Hayner said modestly, "but now you're gonna have to find a costume."

---

I went home to find Namine waiting for me. She had been visiting here lately, yet she wouldn't tell me why. She just warned me not to go to the orphanage. I wondered if it had to do something with Him. I had asked Namine several times who He was, but she would either change the topic or suddenly remember she had to help Larxene sort some papers.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hi," I replied.

"How much homework do you have?" she inquired.

"Not a lot," I answered. "I'll be done soon. Then we can talk."

I pulled out some binders from my backpack and after about an hour of math and science, I figured that I could to the rest after I spent some time with Namine.

We stepped outside. A cool wind blew by and I ducked back into my house, emerging with a light jacket. Namine declined as I offered to get her one as well.

"I got invited to a party!" I told her cheerfully. I didn't like to admit it, but I was actually kind of excited. I was nervous too. I _was _going to a party hosted by my worst enemy.

"That's great! The orphanage is having a party too! It's on Saturday at eight!" she answered, "Are you going to come?"

"Sorry, I can't," I responded. "The other party is at the same time."

"Oh." Her smile faltered. She was probably really hoping I would go. It didn't look like she was a friend with anyone at the orphanage.

"Sorry Namine," I apologized again. I felt really bad about leaving her alone.

"It's fine," she said. She was smiling again, but it was fake. It was too wide, too happy. I wanted to go with her just to wipe that horrible smile off, but I couldn't desert Hayner. He was my friend too.

"We can hang out on Sunday," I suggested, trying to make it up to her.

"No!" she rejected forcefully, "Not Sunday. Sunday isn't a good day."

I had a feeling that she wouldn't be willing to discuss the topic of Sunday with me.

"It's getting pretty cold," I stated. Weather wasn't the most interesting topic, but it was better than seeing Namine get nervous and upset.

She gave a nod of agreement.

"Wanna go to the park?"

Namine nodded again.

We walked a couple of blocks and then climbed over the rusty green fence that surrounded our destination. Namine sat down on a swing and I leaned against a pole next to her. She shivered as some wind blew by.

It was then that I noticed how skinny and small my friend was. Sitting there with her pale skin and big round eyes, her bony hands gripping the chains on the swing, she looked like a fragile porcelain doll. I almost felt afraid to touch her as if she might fall apart at the lightest tap.

I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She opened her mouth to protest, but I held a finger to her lips, silencing her. I unconsciously began to push her. The swing made a squeaking noise as she moved. Forward, back. Forward, back.

"Roxas… I don't want to go back to the orphanage… I don't want to be alone…" She had said it so quietly I could barely hear her.

"What about Axel and Zexion and Larxene?" I asked.

"They have somewhere to be and it wouldn't feel right anyway," she said as she leaned her head against her hand.

Forward, back. Forward, back. Just like my life. Forward, I met Hayner. Back, I was spending less time with Namine. Forward, I got invited to a Halloween party for the first time in my life. Back, Namine was going to be alone.

I stopped pushing. For some strange reason, it was making me feel queasy. Namine didn't seem to mind anyway.

For several minutes, nothing happened. Then Namine stood up and turned to face me. She cupped my cheeks in her hands and stared up into my eyes.

"Roxas, promise me you won't forget," she said.

"Forget what?" I asked her.

"Me. Promise me you won't forget about me," she answered.

"Why do you think I'd forget about you?" I queried.

"Because you're spending so much time with Hayner lately. I'm afraid that you'll forget about me because you'll only care about him," she explained.

"I'd never do something like that!" I assured her.

"The other day I drew a picture," she stated. I looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"It was of you," she continued, "and Hayner and me. You and Hayner were standing together and I was far away and all alone. So I want you to promise."

"Namine, you know I'd-"

"Promise!" she insisted.

"I promise that I will never forget you," I said.

To my surprise, she started singing, "In you and I there's a new land. Angels in flight. My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah. Where fears and lies melt away. Music will tie what's left of me, what's left of me now."

I recognized the song now. Namine would sometimes sing it when our walks got too quiet. I sung the first verse, "I watch you fast asleep. All I fear means nothing."

We sang together on the chorus, "In you and I there's a new land." Namine removed her hands from my face and instead grasped my own hands. "Angels in flight. My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah." She rested her head on my chest. "Where fears and lies melt away." She pressed her head against my body. "Music will tie what's left of me, what's left of me."

Namine sang the next verse, "You show me how to see that nothing is whole and nothing is broken." She released her grip and began walking away, but sang the chorus with me anyway.

"In you and I there's a new land. Angels in flight. My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah. Where fears and lies melt away. Music will tie what's left of me, what's left of me now."

She climbed the fence and paused as I sung the last part, "My fears, my lies melt away."

Then she was gone.

---

By Friday, I still had not decided on what I would dress up as. Hayner was dressing up as Elvis Presley. He already had the wig and had even managed to buy some fake chest hair.

In the end, I managed to dig up a long black cloak and a cheap plastic scythe. Not the most original costume ever, but at least I wasn't going as a human.

On Saturday morning, butterflies had come for a visit with my stomach. By seven thirty, it felt like a hurricane had replaced the butterflies. Hayner came by so we could walk together.

"I can't wait!" he exclaimed. "This is my first time going to a Halloween party ever! I'm so excited! Are you excited?"

I nodded in response due to the fact that my stomach was now practicing for a gymnastics competition. You try to speak when it feels like your insides are doing summersaults.

After a couple more minutes of Hayner babbling and me trying my best not to vomit out of anxiety, we finally reached a big house. And I mean big. It was about the size of ten of my houses. I was so wrapped up in the size of the building, I barely noticed Hayner shut up to gape at Seifer's house with me.

"You guys just gonna stare or do you want to come in?" called a voice that snapped me back into reality.

I looked up to find a very… hairy Seifer. He was dressed up as a very realistic werewolf. Somehow he managed to look cool despite the fact that he was covered in shaggy brown fur.

Hayner waved to him and (rather forcefully) grabbed my hand and pranced over to him.

Seifer greeted Hayner with a smile and me with a glare. Some things never change.

I was pulled into the house and dragged around a bit until Hayner bounded off with somewhere with Seifer. I went and stood in a corner. I really wished I had ditched Hayner and went to the party at the orphanage.

I waited for a while, watching other people dance and pig out on some chips that had been put out.

After what felt like hours, Hayner reappeared. He looked particularly pleased about something.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied dreamily.

I got the feeling that whatever happened was much more than nothing, but I let it slide. I really just wanted to leave.

"Hayner, it's getting late. Can we go home?" I pleaded.

"But we've only been here for fifteen minutes," Hayner said.

Only fifteen minutes? Time may fly when you're having fun, but it moved like a snail in a three-kilometer race when you were bored out of your mind.

"Well, Olette must be getting lonely," I lied. Luckily, Hayner seemed to believe me.

"Okay. You can head home, but I kinda wanna stay here. Is it okay if you walk back alone?" he said.

"Yeah, that's fine. Bye!"

"Bye!"

I refrained from sprinting out the door and headed home.

---

November was a surprisingly busy month. Hayner had taken the liberty of planning my whole entire schedule. It was mostly filled with hanging out with him and Seifer, which was why I was only able to visit Namine on December second. Hayner had joined me.

"So what were you so happy about at the party?" I interrogated.

"Not telling!" he chirped.

I had been trying to get an answer out of him for the past month, but to no avail. He kept on saying that he would tell me Saturday night.

"What's happening on Saturday night? Why won't you tell me?" I whined.

"I told you, I want it to be a surprise!" he said.

We reached the orphanage after a couple more minutes of me trying and failing to squeeze an answer out of Hayner. I was about to knock on the door when Axel opened it. His eyes widened a bit and then he shook his head.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied. His voice was calm and soothing unlike the harsh and loud one he had used the last time we met. He didn't smell of alcohol either. "I just thought I knew you for a second, but I've never even seen you before."

"What do you mean? We've met," Hayner said.

"Really? When? Oh yeah! Now I remember. Sorry 'bout that. Good thing Zexion was there," he said. "Now, what are your names?"

"I'm Hayner and this is Roxas," Hayner responded.

He smiled at us. It was a nice warm smile that made you feel a smile tugging at your own lips. He was so pleasant to be around. I wondered why he had been drinking anyway.

"So what are you guys doing here?"

"We're here to visit Namine," I answered.

"That's good," he remarked.

Hayner and I both looked at him questioningly.

"She's been looking lonely lately. I think some company will be good for her," he added.

I felt a surge of guilt.

"Come on. Follow me. This place is like a maze," Axel commented.

He made some idle chatter on the way up. It turned out Namine wasn't lying. Axel really was a nice guy.

Namine's door was opened slightly when we arrived. Peering through, I could see her hand dancing across a piece of paper. Her face was tense as if the picture was telling her something very distressing. She chewed nervously on her bottom lip as she shaded in an area in the center of the page. I noticed all of the pictures on the wall had changed. They were all of the same picture, the one she had described to me in the park. The lights were turned off and the room was dark and gloomy. She was so upset, she didn't even notice Axel approach her until he gently tapped her on the shoulder

She looked up and quickly closed her sketchbook. She waved in greeting at Hayner and me. Axel left the room, closing the door as he did so.

"Hi," Namine said, unsmiling. "Wait one second." She ducked under her bed to search for something.

While she was busy, I silently opened the sketchbook to the page she was drawing on. My eyes widened in shock.

I was lying on the floor of Namine's room with a bloody hole in my chest.

"Roxas," Namine said from behind me, "you broke our promise."

I looked up and gasped.

---

Psychoticbunny: I love putting in cliffhangers. They make me feel so evil. Anyway, you probably guessed that I don't own the song Sanctuary by Hikaru Utada. Now where's Roxas to tell people to review. Oh yeah. He was arrested. I need to find a replacement! You! 'points to garbage can' You'll do!

Garbage can: …

Psychoticbunny: That's okay. Take your time.


	5. Chapter 5

Psychoticbunny: Hello people! You know, I was not motivated to write at all this week so this will be a VERY short chapter. I was planning on it being short anyway. Also, don't expect me to update Sat/Sun because I'm going to a family thing and I won't have a computer. I would also like to tell you that I am very sad because I only got three reviews. Don't you like my story? I will write more if more people review. Anyway, moving right along. To the disclaimer!

Roxas: If she owned me, I'd commit suicide.

Psychoticbunny: Roxas? I thought you were in jail.

Roxas: I managed to escape. No thanks to a certain author that has the word 'bunny' in her penname!

Psychoticbunny: Wonder who that could be.

Warnings: THERE IS VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER. Just so you know. I don't think it's too graphic though.

---

"You broke our promise," she repeated.

Her eyes were dark and cold as she said it. Her hand tightly gripped a small gun.

"Namine, w-what are you-" I began.

"You broke our promise Roxas! You forgot me!" I could see tears spilling over the edges of her once kind and loving eyes.

She suddenly started laughing, but it wasn't a laugh. It was an insane cackle. It seemed like she was trying to laugh the pain away. The sound echoed creepily in the small room.

"You forgot me! And now you'll pay!" she said. She laughed again. It was sickening to listen to. It wasn't at all how her old laugh was, quiet and calming. This one was loud and harsh, full of hatred and pain.

"Namine! Just calm down! Let's talk this over!" I reasoned.

"No! I won't talk things out with a traitor like you! You left me. I was all alone… for so long…" She stopped talking for a second, "But now you'll be all alone in the afterlife! DIE AND GO TO HELL!"

Her pressed down and I prepared myself for death, but a figure jumped out in front of me. It fell as the bullet struck, falling into a crumpled pile at my feet.

It was Hayner.

I dropped down to my knees. There was a hole in the middle of his chest. Embedded there was a small black object.

"What did I? Did I just kill someone?" Namine asked in horror, "Yes, yes I did. And it's your turn Roxas! I don't care if I end up in Hell as long as you're there suffering with me! Now you're going to die!"

"I don't think so," said a deep voice.

A blurred shape appeared in the shadows. I stepped forward and morphed into Zexion. He pressed an identical gun to the one Namine was holding against her soft hair.

"Put the gun down or else," he threatened.

"No!" Namine shrieked, "No!"

She was clutching the gun to her chest as if her life depended on it.

In reality, the gunshot wasn't that loud, but in my mind was ten times louder. Namine seemed to fall in slow motion, her eyes wide in shock, her light blond hair stained with her own red blood. The thump as her body hit the ground, cold and lifeless, was deafening.

It felt like someone had glued my knees to the floor. All I could do was stare in horror at my only two friends lie in pools of their own blood.

I heard the thunder of footsteps and Axel burst into the room.

"What happened? I heard gunshots," he said.

He looked around. It seemed that he was so shocked he was unable to speak.

Zexion was feeling for Hayner's pulse. Axel looked at him hopefully, but he shook his head.

"Roxas, it's getting late. You should go home," Zexion said.

I gave a small grunt in response. I rose and followed Axel to the door.

When I got outside, it was snowing. I followed some of the pure white flakes with my eyes before they became tainted and dirty as they touched the ground.

I adverted my eyes from the scene and started walking. The ground was icy and I slipped and fell.

I landed flat on my face. My arm hurt and I vaguely noticed it was bent in an odd position. I supposed it should have hurt more, but the real world seemed far away. Besides, nothing could've compared to the pain I felt in my heart.

---

Psychoticbunny: What'd I tell ya? I promise the next chappy will be longer. But you have to review! It makes me think all of you hate the story if you don't!


	6. Chapter 6

Psychoticbunny: Hi there! Jesse McCartney and I are back!

Jesse McCartney: Hey, my name's Roxas! Roxas!

Psychoticbunny: Sure, whatever.

Jesse McCartney: So stop calling me Jesse McCartney when I speak!

Psychoticbunny: Fine.

Namine: Thank you. Hey, don't call me Namine either!

Psychoticbunny: And now for review replies while I dodge the random objects Roxas is now throwing at me.

Cherry- Thanks. Namine, I mean Roxas, appreciates your pity. Because I don't pity or take mercy on him at all. Because I'm evil. MUAHAHAHA!

Namine: I don't even want to think of what my name would be if she owned me!

Warnings: There's finally shounen-ai in this chapter! And some curses. I think that's basically it.

---

It turned out my arm was broken. I could remember being in a hospital and the unfamiliar voices of doctors and nurses, but it was all very blurry. It was as if I was watching my life instead of living it. I couldn't tell seconds from minutes, minutes from hours, hours from days.

Axel would come over often. Sometimes Larxene would join him and even Zexion made an appearance a couple of times.

Axel would talk to me. I never responded, but he kept on trying. I wondered why he would always make an attempt.

I wanted to give up. I knew how easy it would be to just stop doing everything and shut down completely, but seeing how hard he tried made it difficult.

Axel made it difficult to do a lot of things. When he was around, it was difficult to frown or act emotionless. When he would come over, I would curl up into a ball and face away from him, hiding the content look on my face. Sometimes I would feel his gentle hand stroking my head and raking through my tangled hair.

Those were my favorite days, just relaxing while listening to the low hum of Axel's voice. However, when he left, it was like a part of me left with him. My eyes would lose their cheerful twinkle; my face would slip back into its cold, emotionless mask.

Seifer wasn't doing well either. He didn't tease anyone anymore. He just sat around and stared at his shoes. If anyone approached him, he would snap at him or her until they thoroughly regretted it.

He was one of the four people at Hayner's funeral. I was there too, along with a man and a woman. I later found out that they were Hayner's parents. Seifer had told me several days after.

'Yo Roxas!' called Seifer as I was walking home from school.

I stood still for a moment as he caught up with me.

'Before I say anything, I just want you to know that I'm not telling you this because I like you, okay? I'm telling you this because Hayner would want you to know,' he told me. 'Well, Hayner and I have been dating ever since my Halloween party. Those two people at the funeral were his parents. They decided to accept him and we were going to hit two birds with one stone. We'd tell you and his parents. We weren't really planning on… this happening.'

He looked at his feet. I took this time to take in his disheveled appearance. The skin around his eyes was dark and his eyes themselves had a red tint in them. His usually perfect hair was sticking out everywhere. His tie was crooked and his clothes were wrinkled and covered in dirt.

I wanted to say something meaningful or comforting. I really wanted to.

Instead, I turned and continued walking.

Namine's funeral had even less people. I was only person who attended. Her parents were nowhere to be found. I was so furious at them for not coming to Namine's funeral, I stormed around the town for hours only to realize I had no idea where she lived. I had turned and punched the wall next to me until my fists started bleeding and I took another trip to the hospital.

Axel's visits started to confuse me. They were pleasant and unpleasant at the same time. I like his presence and the one-sided conversations we had, but whenever he was around, there was and odd tingling sensation in my stomach. When he would lean towards me, my face would heat up and my heart began to speed up. There was some emotion forming, but I wasn't sure what it was.

I still would never talk back to him. If I did, I was sure I would start talking about Hayner and Namine and doing that would be like confirming their death. So I kept my mouth shut. I looked the opposite direction of his face. I avoided his breath-taking emerald eyes.

But you can only run away from your problems for so long.

---

It was a normal day of school. I wasn't really sure what happened in the first five periods; I didn't pay attention anymore. In sixth period, science, we did a lab. I didn't actually know what we were doing it on, but my partner would spit out some orders and I would follow them like a brainless puppet.

My partner was leaning over a beaker, but she was leaning a bit too far. It fell to the ground with a crash, sounding like a gunshot.

It was like I was back in Namine's room again. Her body was falling to the ground all over again. The pain in her eyes seemed to flow into my heart.

The outside world had disappeared completely. I didn't know what was happening or what to do. So I did the only thing I _could _do. I screamed. I screamed so much my throat hurt. I screamed until I thought that my throat would start bleeding. I screamed back into the real world.

There were anxious voices around me. I could feel something hard and cold underneath me. I dimly recognized that I was on the floor.

"… knocked over beaker… fell down… just started screaming…" said a panicked voice. My teacher.

"… small bump… only unconscious… probably fine…" said another one. The nurse?

"… accidentally and… didn't know what happened… called for help…" I could easily recognize the loud, bossy voice of my partner.

I forced my eyes open. My teacher, my partner, and another woman were standing next to me and talking. Further away, a crowd of teenagers were muttering amongst themselves.

The nurse noticed that I had regained consciousness and ran over to help me get up.

"Are you okay sweetie? What happened?" she asked kindly. I felt like I was four again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I grunted.

"Is anything wrong?" she said.

"No," I replied.

"Are you sure? Why were you screaming?" she questioned.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said.

"Good, but why were you screaming?" she asked again.

I racked my brain for an excuse.

"I don't like loud noises," I lied.

She gave me an uncertain look, but didn't continue to interrogate me, realizing she wouldn't get an answer out of me.

"Come with me," she finally said. "I'll get you to the infirmary."

"I'm fine. I don't need to go," I said.

"But still, it really would be best if you would just-"

"I'm fine," I repeated firmly.

She began to protest, but I didn't give in. She eventually gave up and left me alone.

---

That night, I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't fall asleep. The scene of Hayner and Namine's death would replay in my head as soon as I closed my eyes.

---

Axel's visits became less frequent. Was he giving up on me? Not that I could blame him for it, but I still missed him. I couldn't tell him that, though. There was no way I could tell him that I suffered thorough every pain-staking slow day just to see if he would come over. I couldn't tell him he was the only thing that kept me from shutting down completely.

Then, he wouldn't come. His visits stopped.

For the first couple of days, I didn't do anything, convincing myself that he was just too busy at the moment and he would come the next day. But he didn't and I had to face the truth: He wasn't coming back.

So I went to pay him a visit for once.

Zexion answered the door.

"Axel isn't home right now," he said as if he had read my mind. "You can wait in his room if you want."

I accepted the offer and he led me to the room. It was black, with a black bed in the corner and a desk with many papers littering it. A dim light bulb on the ceiling was the only source of light in the room, due to the absence of windows. The room smelled of cigarettes.

I walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. Zexion left me after a couple of minutes.

I spent several minutes just sitting on the bed and tapping my fingers on the side before getting up and pacing back and forth in the cramped room. I walked over to the messy desk and began flipping through the papers. I knew it was a bit nosy, but I was bored out of my mind.

There were only a bunch of blank adoption papers. I opened a drawer on the right side. It contained a small black book. Hearing footsteps, I quickly shoved the book into my jacket pocket and closed the drawer as Axel entered the room.

"Roxas?" he said as if he wasn't sure whether or not I was actually there.

"You haven't come over to my house in a while," I stated and added a "and I was worried" in my head.

"I thought you didn't want me there," he explained.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"That's fine," he said, "I'd love to spend some time with you, but unfortunately I've some…" he hesitated, "… _things_ to do."

I nodded to my feet.

Sensing my disappointment, he added, " As soon as I get some free time I'll visit you, okay?"

I nodded again, this time looking at his face. He looked nervous and was fidgeting every now and then.

I walked out of the room and managed to find my way through the winding hallways of the building. It was an uneventful walk. I passed a tall, tan man with waist-long silver hair on my way out.

My walk to my house seemed longer than usual without Hayner accompanying me.

I sighed and inserted my hands in my pockets to find something there.

"Axel's book," I muttered to myself as I pulled it out.

I stared at it for a moment, thinking about how much my conscience would annoy me if I peeked at the pages.

I was so occupied with the decision, I slammed my face into a tree. Taking as a sign to not read the book, I slid it back into my pocket and settled on looking at it later.

---

I stared at the cover of the book. I had placed the small object on my pillow.

Before opening it, I checked around for any trees and then lifted the cover of the book. The words, "Axel's Journal" was written in black ink neatly.

"I shouldn't do this," I murmured while turning the page. God might have made me rot in hell for going through Axel's journal, but I couldn't care less at the time.

I flipped to the first entry. It was dated January 10th, 1999. That meant that when Axel wrote this he was… I realized I didn't actually know Axel's age. I made a mental note to ask him later and then turned my attention back to the paper.

Dear Journal,

Here I am, at an orphanage. If you ask me, I prefer the streets. This place creeps me out. The man that brought me here is pretty creepy too. I don't know his name; I'm too afraid to ask. Apparently, everyone else is too because whenever I brought him into the conversation they referred to him as Him and He. Sometimes I with that fire didn't exist. None of this would be happening if I didn't love fire so much.

I don't even know why I'm writing in you! It won't do anything! It won't help! It won't take back what I've done!

Screw you,

Axel

The page was burnt in several places. Love fire? I turned the page, intrigued.

The next page was dated February 3rd, 1999.

Dear Journal,

I honestly can't believe I'm writing in you again. I guess it's kind of like I'm taking my anger out on writing. People say you should do that, right? Like if you're angry with someone, you can write a letter to him or her filled with all your anger and hate and then throw it out or something, right? Whatever. I want something other than some crappy book to be able to reveal my feelings to, but I guess a book will have to do for now.

Oh great! Now I've used up all of my free time!

This book is a complete waste of time,

Axel

I turned to the next page. February 10th, 1999.

Dear Journal,

I miss my house and my family, but I miss my ally even more. I mean the ally I used to live before I was taken to this "orphanage." It's more like a hellhole if you ask me. I know I should miss my family more, but I haven't seen them in so long. I loved my ally though. Yeah, I sound really weird.

I finally decided to ask what His name is. I'm going to do it with this other guy, Zexion. He a complete and total ass, but he's the only one who will do it with me. He'll help me while I'm working sometimes if he has nothing better to do. I haven't said what I do for work yet, have I? Well, it isn't really that bad, but it's so boring and I wish

There was no writing after that, but the last sentence was a messy scrawl. I assumed he had to go somewhere when he was writing the letter.

I glanced toward my clock. It was midnight. I closed the book and set it down on my desk.

Laying on my bed, I couldn't fall asleep. I was itching to run over to the orphanage and ask Axel all of the questions bouncing around in my head, but if he did ask, Axel would have known I had stolen the book.

I rolled over on my side and sighed. At least I had learned a lesson that day: Always listen to the trees.

---

Axel, staying true to his promise, came over the next day.

It was a mostly silent visit. I was afraid of slipping and asking Axel a question about his journal and Axel looked like he had other things on his mind. We stayed like that for a while until Axel stared to sing in a deep voice.

"You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth. I have to go, I have to go. Your hair was long, when we first met."

It reminded me of how Namine used to sing. I forced back some tears that were threatening to fall.

"Samson went back to bed. Not much hair left on his head. He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed. And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us, not even once."

Namine wasn't remembered either. She was alone from the start and stayed that way to the very end.

"You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the stars came falling on our heads. But they're just old light, they're just old light. Your hair was long, when we first met."

All of my memories of Namine were flooding into my head. Along with them came my memories of Hayner.

"Samson came to my bed. Told me that my hair was red. Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed. Oh I cut his hair myself one night. A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light. And he told me that I'd done all right and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the morning light. And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light."

Tears were dripping out of my eyes. I turned away from Axel to hide them.

"Samson went back to bed. Not much hair left on his head. Ate a slice of wonder bread

and went right back to bed. Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down. Yeah, we couldn't destroy a single one. And history books forgot about us. And the bible didn't mention us, not even once."

I bit my lip, trying to stop the rivers flowing from my eyes as Axel sang the last two lines.

"You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first."

Axel finally noticed that I was crying.

"Roxas, are you okay?" he asked.

Before I knew it, I was sobbing into Axel's chest. He stroked my head soothingly and whispered calming words to me.

After a while, I calmed down. Exaughsted from crying for so long, I rested my head on Axel's shoulder and slept peacefully for the first time in ages.

---

I awoke to soft snores from the right side of my head. I turned my head to face the source of the noise.

Axel looked tranquil and beautiful as he slumbered. His lips were parted slightly. They look so delicate and soft… it made me wasn't to feel them.

I felt myself leaning in towards him until I was only millimeters from those wonderful lips. My heart began to speed up as I inched closer and closer to Axel's face. The room got warmer as I closed in. It was soon unbearably hot. I was so close to claiming those lips…

Ring!

The phone brought me back into reality. I glanced once more at Axel's inviting lips before reluctantly climbing off him and answering the phone.

"Hello?" I said.

"Honey? This is Mom. I'm just calling to say that Sora has gotten a bit better, but he needs somewhere to stay. His parents are too busy to take care of him so we're going to instead. We'll be there around noon tomorrow. Bye!"

---

Psychoticbunny: Oh yeah! I'm evil! They were soooooo close to kissing, but I didn't let them!

Namine: You do not know how much self-restraint I am using to prevent myself from killing you right now. First you won't use my real name and now you're not even letting me kiss my Axel!

Psychoticbunny: Haha! Now, if you want to know the name of the song and the writer/singer, you have to ask for it in your review. And yes, this is a stupid way to get more reviews. - Also, this story takes place in 2005. I'm sorry about the slow update, but I was busy on the weekend. Anyway, I thought of an outtake for the last chappy.

Zexion: Put the gun down or else!

Namine: No! No!

Zexion: 'shoots gun and little sign comes out saying BOOM!'

Everyone: 'sweatdrop'

Zexion: Damn that bunny!


	7. Chapter 7

Psychoticbunny: I HAVE TWO ANNOUNCEMENTS!

Roxas: Do you have to shout in my ear?

Psychoticbunny: YES I DO! THE ANNOUNCEMENTS ARE THAT ZEXION IS GOING TO BE PAIRED WITH SOMEONE AND THIS STORY TAKES PLACE IN 2005 SO AXEL IS ABOUT 15 OR 16 WHEN HE'S WRITING HIS JOURNAL! THAT'S ALL! LET'S DO THE DISCLAIMER AND THE WARNINGS NOW, ROXAS!

Roxas: I think I'm going deaf.

Cherry- You cried? I'm proud of myself! I wrote something touching! Or something so grotesque and horribly written, you had to cry over it. I hope it's the first one….

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, then Riku and Sora would be making out for the whole entire game. And then in Kingdom Hearts II, Axel and Roxas would be making out for the whole entire game. But what about Kingdom Hearts CoM…

Roxas: I _really_ don't want to know what she's thinking.

Warnings: Cursing, shounen-ai, death, bunnies…

Roxas: Bunnies?

Psychoticbunny: Yep. Plot bunnies. My worst enemies.

Roxas: 'sweatdrop'

---

There was a click to signal that she had hung up.

Sora was visiting. I could remember the last time he had come over. It was the same as every other time he was around. My parents swooned over him while was pushed aside. I grimaced at the thought.

Still, there was nothing I could do about it. At least Sora himself wasn't mean. He was always cheerful and smiling and it made me sick.

My eyes narrowed and I clenched my fists until my knuckles turned white.

"What's wrong?"

Axel was standing next to me. I hadn't heard him coming due to my rage.

I looked up into his eyes. He was genuinely worried. I didn't like that troubled expression.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

Staring at his face, my eyes drifted towards his lips and I remembered my previous actions. I felt a light blush sneak its way onto my face.

"What time is it?" Axel inquired.

"Oh! It's…" I paused to glance at the clock, "about nine o' clock. Why?"

"Nine o' clock!" he exclaimed. "I'm really sorry Roxas, but I have to leave!"

He practically sprinted out the door to go to… where? I didn't actually know too much about Axel at all. I hoped that someday he might feel comfortable enough to tell me his secrets and the truth about his life. Truth…

"Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth," I recited, mind immediately thinking of the journal.

I dashed up the stairs to my room and picked up the book from my desk.

I hesitated while opening it. Did I really want to read further? What if it just filled my head with more unwanted questions? For a brief moment, I pondered whether or not to go outside and walk around with the book and see if I collided with another tree, but quickly pushed the idiot thought out of my mind. I highly doubted the trees were trying to communicate to me.

I flipped to the page I had left off at. February 25th, 1999.

Dear Journal,

My job keeps me so busy! Well, it actually doesn't, but I've mentioned that I like fire and if I'm not playing around with it, I'm either sleeping or searching through garbage cans or dumpsters for materials.

I still didn't tell you what I do for a job. It's really only chores, but sometimes I feel like hanging myself.

I keep on forgetting to tell you stuff. I'm gathering materials for a kind of weapon that can control fire. Most people think I'm crazy when I tell them about it, but two people think I can do it: Zexion and this girl, Larxene.

Larxene lives in the orphanage even though she isn't an orphan. It's her job to just help out here so she moved in to make it easier. Her parents visit her a lot. It makes me wish I could see my parents again.

Anyway, back to my weapon. It's gonna be a disk-shaped thing. It'll be kind of like a Frisbee. Only it will be on fire. And you might get your arm cut off if you tried to play Frisbee with it. I did say kind of.

I've actually already made some progress. You'd be surprised at all of the things you can find in you dumpster. Like this one time I found a

"A weapon?" I wondered out loud. What would he need a weapon for?

I really hated violence. I was never too much of a fighter. I liked sneaking around in the shadows better. It was the one thing I beat Sora at. I was also pretty good at picking locks.

My mom would always hate it when I did sneak around like that. She said I was acting like some creature of darkness and give me a light whack on my head hard enough that it would hurt, but soft enough that the pain was only mild. It was a loving whack; this was before my grades started dropping. I wished my parents would love me as much as the little boy in their memories.

I brushed the thought aside. It hurt a lot more than the tap I would get.

Turning to the next page, I touched the spot on my head she would strike.

March 8th, 1999

Dear Journal,

I figured out that He has a schedule for being in and out of the orphanage.

I forgot to tell you His name. It's Xemnas. Weird, huh? Well, now whenever I say his name, I crack up. Why? Because after he told us and we were walking back to our rooms (us being Zexion and me), Zexion mentioned that Xemnas is an anagram for man sex. No wonder he wants to keep his name a secret! But I'm named Axel. I sound like a friggin' car part, god damn it!

Sorry about that. Got a bit sidetracked. Anyway, Xemnas (hehe) had a schedule for when he's in and out of the orphanage. Now I know when I can go out and when I should stay inside. You see, you must _always _be in your room when he's around or else he'll beat you. He almost killed a kid once. It was scary. For weeks after, blood stained the halls where she had limped to the infirmary. Zexion saw the whole thing. He said it was horrible.

That's what I'm making a weapon for. Also, because fire's cool.

Moving right along, there's this room that Xemnas (hehe again) takes children in every so often. All of them come out looking like they just got their soul sucked out of their bodies. There are only a couple of kids who come out okay. I heard Zexion was one and so was this other guy

The letter stopped. What other guy? My eyes narrowed in frustration. Why were most of the letters incomplete? I flipped to the next page so quickly it almost ripped.

March 17th, 1999.

Dear Journal,

Zexion likes someone now. (I mean likes as a crush, not as in the friendly way. Not that the friendly way is common…) I overheard (a.k.a. eavesdropped) on Zexion telling Larxene and I've been bothering him about it ever since. Whenever I mention it, his face turns as red as a tomato. It's funny as hell. Needless to say, he's very pissed at me. The last time I teased him, he threw a chair at me. The bruise is still there and hurts every time pressure is applied.

Larxene tries to get me to stop. Key word being tried. She keeps on yelling at me and telling me that I have no right sticking my nose in Zexion's business and then I ask her if she thinks that Zexion is part tomato. I now have another bruise accompanying the one from Zexion.

Other than that, I got tattoos! They're triangles running down each side of my face. I think they look cool. Larxene thinks they look stupid. I think Larxene's PMSing. Zexion's avoiding me so I won't ask him about his crush so I'll just assume he thinks they're cool.

Axel

I thought Axel's tattoos looked cool. I thought Axel was cool in general. Would he like it if I told him that?

I shook my head and turned to March 25th, 1999.

Dear Journal,

Zexion and I made a deal yesterday that if I stopped teasing him, he'd stop chucking chairs at me. It feels a lot more comfortable walking around without the worry of being bombarded with furniture.

Larxene's still being a bitch though. What's her problem? Is it possible to have your period for three weeks straight? She _used_ to be nice. Maybe she's still angry about me teasing Zexion. Or maybe she has anger management problems. Or maybe it's both.

Anyway, because of the fact that now I can't tease Zexion until he breaks down and tells me his crush, I've resorted to stalking him. Creepy, I know, but I have to find out who he likes! Actually he just walked by. Gotta go!

Axel

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't expected Axel to be that nosy.

Next page: April 13th, 1999

Dear Journal,

Yesterday, Zexion told me to stop stalking him. It turned out he had known since the time I started and was just waiting to see whether or not I would stop.

While we were talking, I asked him if he knew why Larxene was acting so strangely. He said Larxene was acting fine around him and added an accusing, 'You of all people should know.' Then realization hit his face. He wouldn't tell me what it was about, despite my consistent pestering.

I still can't figure out what's wrong with Larxene! Maybe I should ask her… but what if she gets mad at me! I blame God for creating women in the first place.

Axel

Next page: April 22nd, 1999.

Dear Journal,

You know that room I was telling you about? The one that makes kids mentally die? It turns out I have to go there in a week. I've tried asking Zexion about it, but he won't tell me anything. I even asked Larxene, but she told me she didn't know anything about it.

To tell you the truth, I'm scared out of my mind. Of course, I'd never tell anyone else that. I'm too old to be afraid. I don't even have anyone to comfort me. Zexion won't talk to me anymore and Larxene hates me. I wish my parents were here. I wished someone cared about me.

Crap, I'm crying. I haven't cried in a long time. I better go get cleaned up.

Axel

Some of the words were blotchy and the page was wrinkled on the places where Axel's tears had fallen. I gingerly ran my hand over the letter. I could almost feel the wet droplets on the page.

The phone rang, interrupting my intense focus. I cursed under my breath and jogged down the stairs to pick it up.

"Hello?" I said impatiently.

"This is Zexion," came the deep voice, "and Axel's in trouble."

His voice was urgent and rushed.

"What's wrong?" I asked calmly, but on the inside I was overcome with fear and concern.

"He's hurt. Badly. I can't help him here," Zexion stated.

"Bring him over to my house!" I shouted, fear taking control.

"Calm down," Zexion said even though it sounded like he wasn't so calm himself. "I'm heading over right now. Don't panic. Everything will be okay."

A click followed by a dull buzzing replaced Zexion's voice.

Remembering what Axel had written about Xemnas, my breathing sped up. I clutched my chest where my heart was beating uncontrollably. What if Axel died?

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I dropped down to the floor and hugged my knees in hopes of some comfort.

I buried my head in the small ball my body had formed as tears started flowing freely.

"It's gonna be okay," I whispered in a feeble attempt to calm down. "It's gonna be okay. Axel's gonna be fine. No one's gonna die."

I spent the next couple of minutes curled up in the same position, sobbing quietly.

The doorbell rang. I got up and ran to the door, pulling it open almost violently.

A tired-looking Zexion stood in the threshold with a figure that I recognized as Axel draped over his shoulder.

I ushered him inside and led him to my room to lay Axel down on my bed. He was in pretty bad condition. His arm was bending in a way not so different than mine had when I tripped on my way back from the orphanage and his ankle was broken. Under his shirt hid many cuts and bruises. It seemed that some of his ribs had been broken too.

Zexion stared at Axel's injured bodies with a passive face, but his eyes held emotions similar to my own. His lips were drawn into a thin, firm line. He kept them shut the whole time I was patching Axel up with some first aid supplies I had found in the bathroom, but kept on fingering a button on his dark gray jacket.

"Is Larxene okay?" I asked, desperate to break the tense silence.

"Mm. She just had to take care of some business back at the orphanage," he answered in a shaky, uncharacteristic voice.

"We're all done here," I said as I finished wrapping up the last of Axel's wounds. "We really should get him to a hospital, but I did the best I could for now."

"We can't bring him to the hospital."

I looked at Zexion quizzically.

"I shouldn't explain it to you. Axel should, but he's quite obviously in no condition to currently," he said.

I nodded hesitantly. "He'll stay at my house then?"

"Yeah. Could I stay with him?" he asked.

"Sure."

I wiped the remaining tears on my face away.

"I guess you can sleep on the couch and I can sleep on the floor," I suggested.

"That's okay. I'll sleep on the floor next to Axel," he declined.

I nodded and gathered some blankets for us to sleep on.

---

I opened my eyes, but immediately shut them, disturbed by the light flooding through my open window. I tried again slowly, getting used to the light.

"Roxas," whispered a voice. Axel was awake.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You're in my house," I said and then added, "You were really beat up. What happened?"

"If I told you why, it would lead to a bunch of other explanations that I don't have the energy for," he said.

Silence followed.

"Want breakfast?" I offered.

"No thanks. Could you help me get up, though? I wanna more around a bit," he said.

"I don't think that's a good idea." I shot him my "I-am-your-mother-and-I-know-what-is-best-for-you" face, but he ignored it.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine."

I sighed in defeat and helped him get up. He leaned awkwardly on my shoulder; Axel was about thirty centimeters taller than me.

We managed to stumble out of the room without waking Zexion.

As we ungracefully made our way down the hall, I noticed how close our bodies were. A heavy blush appeared on my face.

"Are you okay?" Axel asked.

"Yeah!" I said nervously.

"But your face is all red. Do you have a fever or something?"

I shook my head and turned it to the side, unsuccessfully trying to hide my blush.

"What are you so embarrassed about?" he interrogated.

"W-what do y-you mean? I'm n-not embarrassed!" I denied.

Axel quirked an eyebrow. "Cosplaying as Elmo then?"

"Here! You c-can r-r-rest on the c-couch! I g-gotta go do… do… do stuff!" I stammered.

I plopped him down and turned to leave, but he grabbed my sleeve to prevent me from doing so.

"I wanna know! Please?"

I shook my head.

"Pretty please?"

I shook my head again.

"Pretty, pretty please with cherries and sprinkles and cookies and gummy bears and more sprinkles and candy and-"

I quickly yanked my arm from his grasp and escaped to the safety of the kitchen.

"Hey!" Axel called. "Come back!"

I stayed in the next room.

"Roxas! I'm lonely! Come join me!"

My response was cut off by the ringing of the doorbell.

---

Psychoticbunny: Well, there you have it! This chapter and the rest of this fanfic is dedicated to my friend, who is moving to Japan even though she will never read it. Waaah! I'm gonna miss her! T-T Anyway, GIVE ME MORE THAN TWO REVIEWS FOR THIS CHAPTER OR DIE AND BURN IN HELL!!!!!!! Just kidding, but I still would like more reviews. Sorry about the long wait, but that was the longest chapter in the story! Still, now I'm gonna have more time to write because my tests will be over by Friday. Also, sorry if thirty centimeters is off. I don't usually use the metric system. Why does America have to have a completely ridiculous system that I'm used to again? Besides that, I think this fic might get a bit more action-y and for you Namine fans, I might bring her back to life. Anyway, time for an outtake of the next scene.

'doorbell rings'

Roxas: Oh my god! Who is it?

Riku: 'walks in in a skimpy pink bunny suit with flowers and glitter'

Roxas and Axel: 0.o

Zexion: Zzzzzz.

Riku: Don't say anything. Just tell me where Psychoticbunny went.

Roxas: 'points to where she went'

Riku: Thank you. And don't laugh. You might be next. 'leaves'

Roxas: That's it. I'm moving in with my voice actor even if he does sing horrible songs! (No offense to any Jesse McCartney fans.)


	8. Chapter 8

Psychoticbunny: I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE SLOW UPDATE AND THE REALLY SHORT CHAPPY! I've just been really busy and junk. I had to chill with my friends before they moved to Japan, went to sleep-away camp, and killed me with pink! (No, you don't wanna know.) The good news is I'm gonna make more time in my schedule once they move/leave/get distracted and find something better to do. I'll probably finish this fic during the summer (I hope) and then be able to work on two other fics I have in my mind. One of them is a Naruto fic, but the other one is gonna be Namine's side of this story. Okay, I'm done blabbing.

Roxas: Finally!

Psychoticbunny: Wait. I've still got review replies and the disclaimer/warnings!

Roxas: Aw man!

Cherry- I use a lot of words I don't know the meaning of too. But then someone asks me what the word means. And then I'm in trouble. Degrading means "to lower in dignity or estimation; bring into contempt: _He felt they were degrading him by making him report to the supervisor._"

Disclaimer: I know something you don't know if you're reading this! I don't own anything besides the plot! And Roxas!

Roxas: 'glares'

Psychoticbunny: Fine, fine. I don't own Roxas either.

Roxas: 'smiles'

Psychoticbunny: Then I'll own Axel!

Roxas: 'takes out keyblade' YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!

Psychoticbunny: 'fearfully' Contains cursing, shounen-ai, and trees with minds of their own. Also, I'm sorry I made Riku a bastard, but it's necessary. I'm actually a huge Riku fan. I've gotta run for my life and scream like a little girl now!

---

"Who could that be?" I muttered as I walked over to answer the door.

A woman, a man, and three teenagers faced me.

"Hi honey. We're home," said my mom.

She had rich, dark brown hair and enchanting blue eyes. The teenager leaning on her had similar looks, only he had a huge grin plastered on his face. The girl on his other side had reddish brown hair and large, round eyes the color of the sky. A buff silver-haired adolescent stood behind them, glaring at me with fierce emerald orbs. The man in the back had light blond hair and the same sparkling blue eyes as the first three.

I kicked my brain into action. How could I get Axel out of my house without anyone noticing?

"R-roxas, are y-you okay?"

It was Sora. His voice was weak and shaky.

I needed to do something! So I did something I was sure I would get into big trouble for, but it was better than them finding Axel.

My mom stepped closer to the door, only to be greeted by it slamming in her face.

"Axel, quick. Get up. You need to get to my room," I said as I locked the door.

I hoisted him up as the doorknob began to jiggle, signaling that my mom had found her keys.

"Sorry," Axel apologized right before the group burst in my house.

They were momentarily speechless. If only they had stayed that way forever.

My father was the first to recover.

"Who is that man?" he demanded.

"Yeah! Who is he?" my mom said.

Thinking fast, I started to make up an excuse.

"This is my tutor. He…" I thought hard.

"Tripped down the stairs!" Axel finished for me. I flashed him a thankful smile.

"A tutor," my mom repeated.

My parents both looked at me. I knew that look. It was the same one they slipped on every time I brought home a project or a test when my report card came. It was a disappointed look. It was a "why-are-you-so-stupid" look.

I stared at my feet as if they were the only things left on the planet. I could still sense the looks of disapproval.

"You're son is the best student I've ever tutored!" Axel suddenly said.

I looked up at him in surprise and my parents gaped at him as if he had just sprouted two other heads.

"Ow, my arm!" he moaned. "I think the bandage is unraveling. Would you mind wrapping it up again?"

"Sure," I said, catching onto his drift.

I led Axel to the bathroom, only to find we had a shadow. A silver-haired, green-eyed shadow.

"Why are you following us, Riku?" I asked.

"I'm interested in first aid. I wonder why someone this beaten up isn't in a hospital," he replied coolly.

"He _only _fell down the stairs and-"

"And I also wonder how someone got this injured simply by falling down the stairs."

I glared at him and he glared back. Riku knew I despised Sora and to say he disliked me for it was a huge understatement. It was more like he wanted to cut my stomach open with a chainsaw, rip out my heart with his bare hands, and shove it down my throat, while stabbing various parts of my body with a sushi knife.

Axel let out a small cough to remind us of his presence.

The corners of Riku's mouth twitched a bit until it developed into a condescending smirk. It was practically screaming, "I'm better than you and you are weak, pathetic, and stupid."

"Getting back to how your tutor obtained these injuries," he said, saying the words "your tutor" with a hint of sarcasm.

"Riku!" Sora called, "W-will you come d-d-down here f-for a s-second please?"

His face twisted in annoyance and I mimicked his previous smirk.

He glared at me once more before turning and strutting away.

I snickered in victory.

"We have a winner for the Cockiest Bastard ever to Walk the Earth Contest!" Axel joked.

"Thanks," I said. "For earlier. I was in a real tight spot."

"You're thanking me? If I wasn't here, you wouldn't have been in that mess in the first place," he replied.

"Now do you have enough energy to tell me how you got so beat up?" I said.

Axel sighed. "I guess I just don't feel comfortable telling you."

"I promise I won't tell anyone!" I said.

He shook his head. "I'm not so worried about that. I just don't want you to get involved. It'd be dangerous."

"I don't care! I want to help you!"

"Why?"

"Why?" I repeated.

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times before mumbling, "Because I care about you."

"Huh? Speak up. I can't hear you."

"I-" I started before everything blacked out.

---

There was a figure up ahead. The pale complexion, blond hair, and white dress contrasted greatly against the blackness covering the area.

I tried to call out to her, but no sound came out.

Never the less, she turned around to face me and I stared at my dead friend's face.

She smiled and placed a slim finger over her lips before slowly approaching me. The sound of her feet hitting the ground echoed across the darkness, breaking the eerie silence.

"Roxas," she said as she stopped about thirty centimeters away from me.

She reached out and I stepped back. I felt my foot sink into something. It was the darkness. I was being sucked up by it.

I twisted and struggled against it, but to no avail. I stuck out my hand as a last resort and another paler hand reached out to grasp it.

"Roxas…"

---

"Roxas! Roxas! Are you alright?"

"R-roxas! What h-happened?"

I groaned and opened my eyes.

Axel and Sora leaned over me. My parents and Sora's friends stood further back, less concerned.

"W-what happened, Roxas?" Sora asked.

"It was… uh… it was nothing," came my witty and well-prepared answer.

"Didn't look like nothing to me," Axel commented.

I looked at him, suddenly angry. He could keep all of his secrets to himself, but I had to spill out all of my feelings and every private moment in my life?

"Half of being trusted is trusting others," I said.

The rest of the group flashed me looks of confusion, but Axel had no reaction.

"I'm pretty sure Roxas will be okay as long as he stays in his room and rests a bit," Axel said.

I nodded in agreement.

We shuffled away before more questions could be asked.

"So nice of you two to desert me," Zexion said almost maliciously.

Axel held up his hands. "S'not our fault. Roxas' folks decided to make him feel like shit. I wish they had done it another day too, but I guess our guardians up in heaven are laughing their asses off."

"So they have the same sick sense of humor that you do?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Um… hate to ruin the conversation, but I highly doubt my parents will believe I had two tutors over _and _one slept over," I piped up.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Zexion will charm them over with his sunny disposition."

He received a slap on the side of his head for the comment.

"Perhaps a distraction would be convenient," Zexion stated with a mischievous glace towards Axel.

"I _do _have a sick sense of humor," Axel said, grinning a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat.

I looked at each man questioningly, but neither of them offered any explanation.

"Just relax, Mother Roxas. All I need is a little visit with Riku. Think of it as… payback," Axel said.

"I don't think we should-" I started.

"Okay! Being responsible time is over! If you worry this much all the time, your hair will turn gray like good ol' Sexy-Zexy!" Axel… comforted?

"For the last time, my hair color is natural! And quit calling me Sexy-Zexy!"

I was starting to see the part-tomato side of Zexion.

Without any warning, Axel sprinted (Or tried to. His ankle was still broken. It was more a fast limp.) out of my room. I began to run after him, but Zexion stopped me.

"There's no stopping him now," he said. "Trust me. I know from experience."

"Riku's gonna be okay, right?"

There was no answer.

---

Psychoticbunny: I'm not sure what to change to category to. If any of you have suggestions, please review or you can e-mail me. I _do _reply to all of my e-mails. Now, have a nice day:D


	9. Chapter 9

Psychoticbunny: GOMEN-NASAI!!!!!! I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME FOR NOT UPDATING IN A MONTH! I POSTED AN APOLOGY FIC FOR NARUTO CALLED PROMISE THAT ISN'T THAT SAPPY, BUT STILL KIND OF IS! IT'S LEEGAA! YOU CAN READ IT IF YOU WANT TO! ……. I'M SOOOOOOOOO SORRY! I'LL DO REVIEW REPLIES NOW.

Cherry- Thanks. I worked extra hard on that part. XD

Disclaimer: Only thing I own here is the plot. But if I ever own anything else, I'll be sure to share! ;D

Roxas: Oh hell no.

Psychoticbunny: 'giggles and grins creepily' Today we have cursing and my bad sense of humor! Also, romance! Haha! And all shounen-ai (the best kind)!

---

A couple of minutes passed until a scream was heard from below.

"What the-" I began.

"That's our signal," Zexion interrupted.

He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me out the door. I heard commotion in the kitchen as Zexion ran and I half got dragged half choked out the door.

Coughing a bit, I stood up to find a thin stream of smoke drifting upwards out the kitchen window.

"What did-"

"We'll find out later."

I wondered if I would ever be able to form full sentences again.

"I still want an explanation to why Axel was so hurt in the first place!" I reminded Zexion, who brushed it off with a wave of his hand and a, "Yeah, yeah."

The unpleasant screech of the smoke alarms reached our ears followed by Axel clumsily waddling out the front door, a sheepish grin present on his face.

"I guess we'll be on our way then," Zexion said from behind me, causing me to jump a bit.

"B-bye."

I saw them off before reluctantly entering my house.

The sight that greeted me would have been hilarious if I wasn't going to be blamed for it.

My father was attempting to turn off the alarm with a broom, which resulted in him whacking himself accidentally with it many times. Kairi seemed to have tried to assist him, however it looked as if the broom had hit her, leaving her sprawled out on the ground, unconscious. Riku was at the point of tears on the couch with Sora rubbing his back comfortingly.

Yes, this would all have been exceptionally amusing, had it not been for the fact that my mom was glaring daggers at my poor, defenseless head.

"Roxas," she almost growled. "I cannot believe this! How could you do such a thing? As punishment, Riku will be sleeping in your room instead of on the couch!"

"What? No! Please Mom! Don't do that!" I protested.

She looked at me with an expression that said, "It's happening whether you like it or not."

I glared at her and turned my head to glare at Riku, but the action was ignored; he had started to weep on Sora's shoulder, which reminded me…

"Wait a minute. What the hell happened?"

"Roxas. Language," my mom said in a threatening tone.

"What the _heck_ happened?" I corrected myself.

She relaxed her face and muscles, but still looked like she was refraining herself from smashing my head on the previously non-lethal-looking coffee table only because Sora and Riku were blocking the way. I felt a need to check a mirror to make sure my head was still unscathed, despite my mom's ferocious looks.

An awkward silence fell as my dad finally accomplished turning the smoke alarm off, save for the occasional sob coming from Riku.

"Riku, Roxas will take your things and show you to his room," my mom said.

"Wait! Where will Sora sleep?" I asked.

"The guest room," she replied. "Now take Riku to your room."

I scowled and grudgingly led Riku to my room after picking up his blue suitcase. (He had thankfully stopped crying by then.)

"Bed, desk, floor," aided by pointing to each object in turn was my half-assed introduction.

He glared at me, however it did not have the desired effect, with dried tears on his cheeks and blood-shot eyes.

"What happened anyway?"

"My hair!" Riku cried out in despair while holding out singed split ends.

Whoa. Shallow much?

"So your hair got burnt! Oh the horror! Quick, alert the FBI! We must punish the criminal behind this!" I said sarcastically.

"My hair is _very_ important! You wouldn't understand!" he argued.

"You're right! I wouldn't understand. Know why? Because I'm not a shallow, cocky bastard like a certain person in this room!" I snapped.

"Exactly! You think just because I'm one of Sora's groupies means I don't have feelings! No one gets that I have emotions too! Nobody understands that there's a person beneath the 'perfect boy's best friend!' He's just here for looks! He doesn't even matter anymore!"

Tears ran down his face for the second time that day.

"Stop crying already, god damn it! You're just exaggerating the truth! I'm sure you've got plenty of friends who love and respect you! And if not that, at least you have parents that care for you!"

I didn't care how much Riku was crying! I was going to yell at him until he felt my pain!

"You have _no idea _what it's like! You have NO IDEA!"

"No idea? I do have an idea and it's a rather vivid one, too! You're luckier than you think you are, Roxas! You should appreciate what you have!" His voice was almost desperate.

"So you have an idea, huh? So you've been rejected by your parents because you're just not good enough! So you've always been outshone by your cousin who's perfect at everything you stink at! So you watched your two best friends die before your very eyes!"

I had snapped. I wasn't just going to sit on the side and listen quietly to Riku bitch about a bit of burnt hair.

I smirked in satisfaction as he stared at me with his mouth agape.

"Roxas… that's… that's so… I…"

"So _now _how important is your hair?" I said.

"Wait. I get that your life's been pretty rough, but mine hasn't exactly been a piece of cake either," he replied.

I sat down on my bed and gestured for him to follow with a, "Do tell."

He placed himself to my right and began.

"I met Sora when I was only four years old."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, why? We couldn't have just magically been friends since we were born," he said.

I nodded and turned my head away from him to hide the bit of pink on my face. I had just automatically thought they had just known each other since the beginning of time. I never once wondered how they had met.

"Yeah so… where was I? Oh yes. Sora. We met on the beach. It was always my favorite to be, even though I wasn't allowed."

"Strict parents?"

"No. I didn't know my parents. I lived in an orphanage."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Don't be. We're getting off track.

"So I saw Sora struggling with something and decided to go over to help."

"What was he struggling with?" I asked as Riku paused to take a breath.

"I'm getting to that," Riku said in an annoyed tone. "Just stop interrupting in middle."

I apologized and he continued.

"Anyway, I went over to help him. As I got up closer, I realized he was trying to make a boat, but he wasn't succeeding at all. So I offered to build it with him.

"He accepted, and with my help, we were able to complete the boat by the end of the day. We made a promise that night. We said that one day we would sail the boat, just the two of us, out to sea and explore.

"So for the next four years, everything went well. Every day we would meet on the beach and stay until sunset. When we went to school, there was no way to separate us. It was almost impossible to find Sora without me and vice versa.

"Of course, this didn't last forever. When we were eight, an intruder came. An intruder named Kairi.

"Sora was interested in her right away. She came from some far away country and we _did _want to explore distant lands.

"It started out fine, I suppose. I did feel a bit jealous that Sora was paying attention to someone else, but I knew I was just being selfish. I let it go. I let Kairi in.

"I didn't notice it at first. I thought that the reason Sora canceled our visits to the beach was because he needed more time to work on his homework. He was already failing out of three classes. Then, when he started eating lunch with Kairi as opposed to me, I thought it was just to be able to have more chances to ask her about where she came from. I can't believe it took me so long to realize Kairi was stealing Sora from me. It really hit me one day.

"I was going to the beach to see if Sora was waiting for me _that _time. Of course, he wasn't. He never was anymore. However, Sora wasn't the only thing that was missing.

"The boat was gone too. Sora had taken the boat out to sea without me. He had broken our promise. But the worse was yet to come.

"I waited all day for him to come back. And finally, he did. Guess who was with him."

"He was with Kairi, wasn't he," I stated more than asked.

Riku nodded and went on.

"I was furious. I screamed at him so much, my throat hurt later. He looked pretty ashamed of himself, but Kairi stood up for him.

"Eventually, I went home. Kairi won. Not only did she beat me in the fight, but she also won my best friend. She won Sora.

"Back when I was younger, my hair was down to my knees. I cut it all the way to my shoulder, like I was chopping away my friendship with Sora. It hasn't grown at all since that day.

"That night, I tossed and turned in my bed, thinking angry thoughts. Soon though, my anger turned to sadness and hurt. Sora had chosen Kairi over me. My only friend didn't even think I was good enough.

"Perhaps it was that night, or the next, or the third night when I realized I didn't just like Sora. All that time I had really loved him.

"A couple of days later, we made up, but we were never as close as we used to be. Kairi made sure of that.

"Do you still think I don't know what it's like to be hurt?" He pulled my face upwards so we locked eyes.

I turned my attention to my door. His eyes reminded me too much of Axel's. They were the same rich deep green color. And his past was similar to Axel's too.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed so much," I said and risked a glance at his eyes.

I'm not sure who leaned in first or even why we did it, but one second I was being hypnotized by those entrancing orbs, and the next we were kissing. It was sudden, but we both needed it.

I wrapped my shaking arms around his neck while he enveloped my body in his strong, warm ones.

Finally, we pulled away for air and inched to opposite sides of the bed in embarrassment.

Silence. Then…

"When they all come crashing down, mid-flight. You know you're not the only one. When they're so alone, they find a back door out of life. You know you're not the only one."

I leaned back and just listened to the sorrowful song.

"We're all grieving, lost and bleeding."

I chanced gazing at Riku.

"All our lives, we've been waiting for someone to call our leader."

He had closed his eyes, which relieved me. There was something about them that made you get lost in the ocean of color and emotion.

"All your lies I'm not believing. Heaven shine a light down on me."

I blinked. Riku had fiery red hair and two dark red tattoos. I blinked. Back to Riku.

"So afraid to open your eyes-hypnotized. You know you're not the only one. Never understood this life, and you're right, I don't deserve. But you know I'm not the only one."

Was it Riku I had wanted to kiss or Axel?

"We're all grieving, lost and bleeding."

What if this were only a one-time thing, and afterwards everything would be the same?

"All our lives, we've been waiting for someone to call our leader."

Did I really want to continue this relationship?

"All your lies I'm not believing. Heaven shine a light down on me."

What if Riku was just a substitute?

"Don't look down, don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you. Don't look down, you'll fall down, you'll become their sacrifice."

A substitute for whom?

"Right or wrong, can't hold onto the fear that I'm lost without you. If I can't feel, I'm not mine, I'm not real."

…

"All our lives, we've been waiting for someone to call our leader."

…

"All your lies I'm not believing. Heaven shine a light down on me."

…

Axel?

---

Psychoticbunny: FINALLY! I spent half this day cooped up in my room just so I could crank out this chappy and it's finally here! Yay! By the way, the song is "The Only One" by Evanescence (One of my favorite bands!). Also, the whole RikuxRoxas thing might go on for a little longer or it just might end here. I'm not sure yet, but I think if I do what I did today a couple more times, I might actually be able to finish this story by the end of this summer! Bye!


	10. Chapter 10

Psychoticbunny: Guess who's back! That's right! Your (least) favorite author! Sorry for not updating earlier! I'm was trying to write more, but I'm stuck on a certain place so that's why this chapter's so short. I _really_ am trying to update more. Now time for review replies:

Cherry- And, believe it or not, Riku's hair will come into the story later, so for all who are reading REMEMBER RIKU'S STORY. Even though it's not going to be a _huge _part, it will still be significant.

Disclaimer: I own my nose and that pwns the Kingdom Hearts characters, right?!

Roxas: Not really…

Psychoticbunny: Shut up! _They don't know that! _

Roxas: Why was that last sentence in italics?

Psychoticbunny: No idea. Anywho, warnings are cursing, shounen-ai, and dinner.

Roxas: WTF?

Psychoticbunny: You'll see…

---

"Hey. You guys okay?" Sora asked as he entered the room, disturbing the… peaceful silence? "I heard some yelling, but we kind of had to help Kairi up."

"Yeah. We're fine Sora," Riku assured him.

I had never noticed the longing looks Riku gave Sora before, which Sora never paid attention to either.

He smiled in relief. "That's good. I wouldn't want you two to be in a fight, especially because you're sharing a room."

"Do you want to sit down, Sora?" Riku stood up to offer his seat.

"No thanks. I'm good," Sora replied while shaking his head.

"Are you sure?" Riku pestered. "I wouldn't you to cause any stress to your body or anything and…" He went on muttering about wanting him to be comfortable.

"You worry too much Riku!" Sora laughed. Riku gave a weak smile in return.

The best description for Riku I could come up with at that moment was a puddle of goop. He seemed to almost melt at Sora's grin.

"I guess I'll go back downstairs then, now that I know you two aren't ripping each other's heads off." He closed the door on his way out.

We were left with another uncomfortable silence, lasting for several minutes.

"Hey Riku," I finally said. "Sora seemed a lot better just now."

"Yeah. Probably because he took his medicine," Riku said as he sunk back on my bed.

If I only had a dollar (A/N: or 100 yen, or whatever your currency is) for every awkward moment I shared with Riku…

"Hey, what's this?" he asked suddenly.

I turned to examine the object in question.

Axel's journal! It must have slid under my pillows from last night. A piece of paper fell out and landed on the floor.

"Oh! T-that! Nothing!" I snatched the small book out of his hands.

"Jeez. You didn't have to grab it. I'd have given it to you if you just asked."

…

…

…

"Well, I'm going downstairs," Riku said. "Oh, and this fell." He handed me the paper before exiting.

I opened up the neatly folded note. How had I not noticed it earlier?

Dear Roxas,

Robbers shouldn't be trusted.

I opened the journal, only to find all of the pages burned out.

"How did he?" I murmured, running my fingers over the burnt binding, when it hit me.

Axel must have found it when he had woken up. Then why hadn't he confronted me about it? He didn't seem particularly angry.

I sighed and slipped the journal back under my pillow, positioning the note back inside beforehand. Curiosity killed the cat.

---

I had not eaten dinner with anyone for almost a full year. Add that to the fact that I was extremely anti-social, and it doesn't seem so odd that taking part in a conversation at dinner was a rare and none too pleasant experience for me.

I sat in the corner as an attempt to prevent as much interaction with anyone at all. Riku sat next to me and looked as thought he wanted to ask me something a couple of times, but decided against it, seeing how focused I was on my mashed potatoes. However, he was the only one who got the clue.

Sora was set on getting me involved in a conversation and Kairi seemed to be helping him to torture me. (My view on Kairi had changed ever since I heard Riku's story, however, spotting the swelling bump on the back of her head was tremendously satisfying.) My mom and dad had caught onto Sora's determination to make me (gasp) converse with the people surrounding me.

"So… how have you been Roxas?" my dad asked in an almost too cheerful voice.

I shrugged at my plate.

"Do anything fun lately, make any friends?" It was my mom's turn to pretend to care.

I gave my answer to my plate again, becoming increasingly fond of it. "Hn."

"Are you and Riku going to, like, play games or something before you to bed?"

I finally tore my gaze away from my dish of untouched food to glare at Sora. He made it sound as if Riku and I were two hyper best friends on their first sleepover.

This earned me a kick under the table from a certain silver-haired someone. I winced in pain. All those muscles weren't just for show.

I tried to counterattack with my own kick, but missed and hit a table leg. I could only hope my leg would survive this dinner in one piece.

"May I pleased be excused?" I hoped that being polite would pay off.

"But you haven't eaten any of your food," Kairi pointed out.

Bitch!

"I'm not very hungry," I said with a smile that I prayed didn't look as bloodthirsty as I was feeling.

"Okay then," my mom said. Even though I knew it was only to get rid of me, I couldn't have loved her more at the moment. I figured there was one good thing about my family's hatred: It was mutual.

---

Psychoticbunny: The dinner scene was basically for some comedy. Because I like comedy. Now, (perpare your ears people) I'M SO SORRY THE CHAPTER IS SO RIDICULOUSLY SHORT! FORGIVE ME AND I'LL GIVE YOU TOFU FUDGE BALL THINGYS THAT TASTE A LOT BETTER THAN I MADE THEM SOUND! THEY'ER SUGER-COATED AND REVIEWERS GET EXTRA! AHHHHH! 'goes and hides behind computer in shame'

Roxas: What a wimp. Well, I guess I'll say the rest of the messages. Psychoticbunny's planning to write the first chapter of a new story (Naruto) and post it up, finish this story, and then add to that story. 'Kay? Kay. And besides that, did anyone else notice that the documents are alive now-a-days? It's kind of creepy. Anyway, bye! See you next time!


	11. Chapter 11

Psychoticbunny: I bet you're all mad I haven't updated in a while, but this time I actually have a reason that isn't bogus. I've been working on another fanfic (You are my Sunshine) and so that has slowed me down. But I'm making this and extra good chapter to cheer you guys up. Or just depress you because a good chapter is a depressing chapter. XD Also, sorry if the tense sounds a little strange, but I'm writing You are my Sunshine is present tense so it might take a bit to get back into the mode of past tense. Also, Roxas is a bit ooc in this chapter. It's like he grows up and then he grows back down… o.0 Now, review replies!

Cherry- It's good you like comedy 'cause I like comedy too. And tofu fudge ball thingys. I like those also. In fact, I think I'm gonna make more after I finish writing this chappy. ;D

XISurrealIV- Thanks. I'm trying to update as fast as possible.

Disclaimer: Every day I go through the torture of reminding myself that I do not own Roxas, Axel, Sora, Riku, or Kairi. Or any of the other KH characters actually. I just kidnap them and use them for my own evil plans. 'sigh'

Roxas: Wait a minute.

Warnings: Cursing, drugs, whatever the hell I feel like putting in. (And you know that's bad, when I have the option of putting in whatever want. 'grins maniacally')

---

I scraped off all of my leftover food into the garbage can and scampered up to my room, where no one had the ridiculous notion I might _enjoy _socializing.

Closing the door behind me, I reached for the journal. There really wasn't any use in keeping it. Still, I wanted to.

I hugged the book to my chest and laid down on my bed, facing the ceiling. "Axel," I whispered. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to know more about you. I just care so much about you." I don't know why I said this. I knew he wasn't with me, but I just felt like he deserved an apology. "Axel…"

"Axel?"

I jumped up at the sound. Riku stood in the doorway.

"Riku! What are _you _doing here?" I accused.

"Love you too, Room mate! I came to check up on you. Only wanted to make sure you weren't emotionally scarred by that experience."

"Haha. Very funny." I said sarcastically.

"I see you haven't lost your charming sense of humor." He walked over and sat at the end of my bed. "I think we should talk."

"Talk? About what?" I inquired.

"About, you know, us," he replied.

"No, I don't know. Just because we're sharing a room doesn't mean we're gonna be best friends forever or something cheesy like that," I lectured.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You still kind of hate my guts."

"There's no way to kind of hate someone's guts. I either completely hate their guts or like them," I retort. "Guess which one applies to you."

"You're being moody. Anyway, now I'm confused. First you kiss me, and then you decide I'm your worst enemy. You're acting like a girl on her period, and I know girls on their period. I was forced to be Kairi's slave when she had hers because of a bet."

I scrunched my face up a bit. "Um, a little too much information there."

"Yeah, well, you deserve it."

"Deserve what?"

"Come on. Just talk to me. What the hell is our relationship now, and where is it going. I'm lost, Roxas." He looked at me with a puppy-dog face, complete with a pout and watery eyes.

"Fine." I couldn't help it. Those eyes…

"Okay. You can start by telling me whether you want to make out with me or spoon out my guts and feed them to sharks at the aquarium." Blunt much?

I sat up and folded my legs Indian style. "I… I… I dunno. I'm confused too. I can't pinpoint my feelings about you." I let my eyes wander to the wall.

Riku placed a hand on my cheek and kissed me tenderly on the mouth. As I opened my mouth to complain, he slid his tongue in, feeling everywhere. He pushed me down on my bed and continued his actions.

For a moment, I merely sat there, my body unable to connect what was happening to my brain. Then, when Riku's proceedings finally registered in my mind, I pushed him off. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't _whom _I wanted. This wasn't even what Riku wanted.

"Riku, it's not me," I said.

He gave me a quizzical look and asked, "What's not you?"

I sighed and answered, "Who you want. You don't want to love me. You want to love Sora. I'm simply his replacement, and you're nothing more to me than an outlet. Let's face it; we're both in need of someone else. It's not me, Riku, and it's not you either."

He looked upset, distressed. He needed this. He needed this more than anything. And here I was, snatching it away. However, the longer we stayed like that, the more we would have gotten hurt.

"O-okay. I g-g-guess-" He pauses to take a deep breath. "I guess it's best if we discontinue this. I just can't help but think of how low I've sunk, to drag someone down with me. I guess I didn't want to suffer alone. I'll arrange for a flight back to Destiny Islands. Sora doesn't need me here. I should face it, I'm useless."

"Riku, you're not-"

"Goodbye, Roxas. It was a pleasure lying with you."

He gave me the most bittersweet smile I ever saw and left the room.

"Riku, you're not useless. You just haven't found your use." Again, I was talking to the atmosphere. I sighed again. He had taken it badly. Torture, that's what it was when I saw those shining emerald eyes filled will sorrow. It's not fair they have the same eyes. That was probably what Riku thought about Sora and me.

I got up and walked down the hall. There was only one person who could fix him now.

Bathroom, Mom and Dad's room, here.

The door was opened a crack and I peeked inside. Sora and Kairi seemed to be in the middle of a conversation.

I heard a female voice, which I assumed was Kairi's, start singing.

"Boy! Why not take out the trash? And once you get him out, tell him not to come back again. Boy! Put that cat in the bin. After what he said, after everything he did."

Sora looked a bit angry and tried to argue, only to be cut off.

"You had him figured out a while ago and I know it's not exactly breaking news. But it's all been a little like a trial for you and a bunch more talking won't make him true."

Again, Sora tried to come up with a retort, but was interrupted.

"Ah, c'mon, Boy! Why not take out the trash? And once you get him out, tell him not to come back again. Boy! Why not give him the slip? Get the crooked straight, get the go-getter good and gone."

Sora's really looked furious at that point. I'd never seen Sora so mad. I had always thought that he didn't have the heart for it.

"Why? It's so plain that he's just makin' it up and he's still got you coming back for more. Why you never ever think of breaking it up, tell me what bad deal's gonna close that door?"

Sora stood up, only to fall down again.

"Ah, c'mon, Boy! Why not take out the trash? And once you get him out, tell him not to come back again. Boy! Why not give him the slip? Get the crooked straight, get the go-getter good and gone."

That time Sora managed to stand and hits Kairi. He punches her on the face and, although I was sure it didn't hurt that much, Kairi appeared to have been struck by someone like Riku. Sora said something I couldn't catch and then exited.

"Roxas?" he exclaimed as he spotted me. "Did you just see…? Listen, it's not my fault. Kairi-"

"Wait. I didn't see anything. I need you to go see Riku right away," I said.

"She happened to- what? Riku? Why?" he asked.

"Don't ask questions! Just go see him!" I demanded.

With a quick, "Okay!" Sora headed off.

I peered back into the room where Kairi and he were arguing. Kairi had collapsed and was sobbing pathetically.

I wasn't exactly sure if this was a good idea, but nevertheless I entered the room and lowered myself to my knees near her. I raised my hand and began to rub soothing circles on her back while whispering, "It's okay, it's okay."

"S-sora?" she said hopefully and returned to crying even harder once she saw me.

As I was comforting her, it occurred to me that I was consoling someone I hated, but I brushed it aside when she abruptly leapt onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and crying her heart out. She wasn't in the right mind.

"Shush Kairi. Everything's going to be fine. Shush. Now, can you tell me what happened?" She wept a bit louder. "Hush now. Just tell me what happened."

She finally quieted down. "Sora got angry. He never gets angry, not with me, not with anyone."

"Tell me what happened," I repeated.

"Why?" she said in an accusing tone.

"Because." I was a bit less forgiving now that she had calmed down.

She took a couple of seconds to debate over what to do, but then began to talk. "I was just trying to cheer Sora up. He felt like going to Riku and making up. I can't let him do that. Riku will just hurt him more, I know he will. I can't let that happen, not to Sora. Sora's my best friend. What kind of friend would let her best friend's heart break?"

"What do you mean? How do you know Riku will hurt him?" I interrogated.

"How do I know Riku will hurt him? I convince Sora to take me on one measly ride in that silly little boat they made, we come back, and Riku starts going on a rage at him. I had to stand up for poor little Sora, who wouldn't even fight back."

"Maybe he was just having a bad day," I offered.

Kairi gave me an incredulous look. "I don't think so. Besides that's not the worst part." I looked at her expectantly as she faltered. "He… he… he loves him. Sora _loves _Riku. It'll hurt even more when Riku breaks his heart. I'd feel horrible if that happened. I feel horrible now. Sora was so upset." She climbed off me and stared at the door as if Sora might magically appear from there.

"Maybe that isn't what you think."

She turned to face me. "How do _you_ know what I think?"

"I don't, but I don't think you do either. Maybe you're just believing what you want to believe. You don't want Riku to be good person, so you've convinced yourself he isn't. You've also convinced yourself that no matter what, Riku will always break-"

I was cut off by a scream.

We both looked towards the door, then to each other, then to door again before racing out to see what happened.

I opened the front door to a horrible sight.

Riku was lying several feet away, his body in a very odd position, bleeding from his wrist. He had… had he really?

"Riku!" cried a desperate voice from above. I looked up to find Sora was standing on the roof, apparently led there in his attempt to find Riku. "RIKU!"

"Sora! Sora, get off of there! SORA, LISTEN TO ME!" Kairi shouted from beside me.

I recovered from my shock and ran over to where Riku was lying. An ambulance. We needed an ambulance.

"SORA! GET DOWN FROM THERE OR YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF!" Kairi screamed at the top of her lungs. She winced from the pain of abusing her vocal chords like that.

Sora wasn't listening; he was too distressed over Riku's suicide attempt.

"SORA!" Kairi shrieked once more then muttering, "This isn't working."

"Ambulance. Someone. We need an ambulance." It was taking too long to connect that Riku might be dead. I couldn't call for help properly. We were all on different pages, uncoordinated and useless.

I perceived Kairi running back into the house, pushing aside my parents who had finally come to check what was wrong in her rash try to rescue Sora. My mom and dad looked dazed for a bit until they rushed back inside to call for help. Soon I could spy Kairi on the ceiling, struggling to convince Sora to get down.

"No! Stop it! Stop!" I started yelling. This wasn't happening. This _couldn't be_ happening. I felt my head grow dizzy from all of the screaming and panic. I could hear an ambulance's siren. "Stop! No!" My vision was fading. Riku's body disappeared and the sidewalk began to twist and turn until it was nothing.

"Help," I whispered hoarsely.

---

People? No, monsters. Monsters, almost graceful in their odd, white suits, surrounded me. They twisted and turned into all sorts of weird positions.

Suddenly, one lunged towards me. I held up my arms to shield myself, but it struck my and I went flying backwards, hitting what I supposed was a hard wall. I groaned in pain. What was going on?

"Roxas, use the keyblade!"

Keyblade? What on earth was a keyblade? I knew that voice. "Namine?"

Another one of the monsters came for me. I picked up a stick from the ground to try to beat it off, though I knew it wouldn't work.

Surprisingly, it did. I felt no impact after I whacked the being with the piece of wood. That was probably because what I was holding would definitely not be considered a stick, unless your counting metal ones that are shaped like a key.

A third one came. This time I was ready. It was almost like the strange weapon was controlling me.

I hit the creature where I supposed its stomach would be placed, and then followed it up by a kick on its head. It flew back and I ran to another, slashing it with… the keyblade? This one disappeared into nothingness, like it had never even been there in the first place. I kicked the one next to me on the feet and slammed the keyblade down where its heart should be and it evaporated, just like the last. Afterwards, I ran up to the first one and finished it off with a strike on its chest. It had the same reaction as the last two… two what? What were those? Where was I?

"Hello?" I called. I was on a platform. Stairs. There were stairs to my left. They looked to be stained glass. Who had stained glass stairs?

"Hello!" I called again as I began to cautiously head up the peculiar staircase. A lot of things here were peculiar. For some odd reason, my mind flashed back to the time my mom once read me Alice in Wonderland, but I shook my head. This was no time to get distracted.

I was nearing another platform. It was empty, but the moment I stepped on it, more of the creatures appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

I hunched up and prepared myself for another battle.

First I attacked one that was bending around in midair. I struck it three times, the last hit using all of the strength I could muster and it vanished. I turned around just in time to see a blur of white before I was thrown off my feet a second time. This instance, however, I regained balance while flying backwards and counterattacked with an airborne strike. It joined the first one wherever it went. I then defeated the last one with some well-aimed kicks and swings. I was getting used to this.

I advanced to the next platform, readying myself for another assault from the white monsters.

I waited for a few seconds, yet no creatures came so I lowered the keyblade slightly. Realizing that nothing was going to harm me, I subconsciously made the keyblade disappear.

A door. That was all that was there. A door.

Beyond that door lies a completely different world.

I looked around to find out where it came from, but to no avail. I was the only person here, wherever I was.

But don't be afraid. Don't stop walking.

I gave up trying to find out where it was coming from. I wasn't afraid. What was it talking about? A different world? What? Would it teleport me to Pluto or something?

I shook my head. I wasn't thinking hard enough.

I could see some mist forming on the platform. I gazed upwards, trancelike, at the substance. I couldn't break away.

My stupor was disturbed as I heard and felt a rumbling from behind me. I slowly rotated on the spot.

Something was sprouting from the floor. It grew and stretched until it was completely revealed. A pincer-like hand, a long, narrow, almost pointy, foot. It wasn't like the other monsters. It was bigger, stronger? It looked like it.

I felt a surge of fear and ran to edge of the platform to escape, but found there was nothing but darkness below. I couldn't jump. Instead, I reluctantly turned to face whatever that thing was.

No, it said don't be afraid. I got out the keyblade again, ready to fight.

It cast some sort of spell on me, but I charged towards it anyway.

All of a sudden, I was chained by strange black and white orbs to air. I struggled to release their grip, but it was no use. I was stuck.

My opponent looked at me face to face (or I think it was its face) and then prepared to assault me with its funny-looking hand, but I was too fast for it, hitting it's face before it could even start to launch the attack. It drew back and opted to reach for me with its arms, which extended like a yo-yo string. It grabbed me and threw me up in the air, freeing me to block its next hit in the air. It landed a couple of meters away and I somehow managed to land on my feet. I swiveled around just in time to see the retreating feet of the being slide snake-like over the edge of the platform.

I let myself rest a bit, thinking it had given up, but only a moment later, the ground I was standing on began to shake. The platform tipped backwards to expose the monster with some sort of ball of energy. Whatever it was, it looked very dangerous. I hung on by the keyblade as it readied itself to throw the ball. Finally, I had to led go and I fell with an anguished yell towards the energy. Still, I regained composure, flipped a couple of times, and knocked the ball back to its creator, causing it to explode.

Both of us fell down, my opponent landing on its stomach, me landing on my back. The keyblade had fell a bit further on and I hurriedly retrieved it. The creature seemed to be unconscious, but I didn't waste any time. I instantly got to work slamming the keyblade into its head multiple times.

To my surprise, it was not unconscious and stood, almost floated, up while I backed up. I ran towards it again and began to hit every inch of the creature I could reach. I zoomed past its extended leg to reach its head, aiming a strike there before zooming to the left to avoid an attack from its hand. It dropped down and slid across the battle area, almost hitting me. I dealt a good amount of damage to its head as it went into another one of its strange positions. It finally landed an attack on me as I slacked off for a moment, breathing heavily. Two more followed that one until I went back to dodging and attacking.

It stood back up and I repeated my previous strategy. It then cast the same spell as it did at the beginning of the battle.

I was in suspended in mid-air once more. Again, I hit the creature's head just in time and it tossed me up like a human ball. I deflected its attack and it slid under the platform. This time, I knew what to expect. I was prepared when the surface I was located on began to tip. I stabbed the keyblade into it while I dropped. I stopped the energy ball and both of us found ourselves on the ground again.

I picked up the keyblade and went on with attacking, but then stopped once it stood up.

I backed away and the keyblade left as quickly as it came. I was too tired. My face was drenched in sweat and my heart was pounding faster than it ever had. I'd give up. This was the end. This really was the end.

Then, the monster's head began to swell and jiggle. I had… beaten it? It collapsed into a pile of darkness.

I could feel myself being sucked into it just like earlier today. Again I fought uselessly against the black substance constricting my body. Again I reached my hand up pathetically. Again another one met it.

"Roxas…"

I was in a room. White. The walls, the table, the chairs, everything was white. Everything except the drawings.

"Roxas."

Namine was sitting in the chair on the end of the table opposite of me.

"Namine?" I asked quietly, as if saying it too loud would scare her away.

"Roxas, sit down." She pointed at the seat at my end of the table and I hesitantly took it.

"Namine? What are you doing here? Where am I? What just happened?" I trailed off with a bunch of other questions buzzing around in my mind, but all Namine did was raise a finger to her lips for silence. I quieted down.

"Roxas, hush. I'll explain. This is my room. Those are my friends. Why did you hurt my friends?"

"Your… your friends? I thought… I thought that they were going to hurt me. So I attacked them. Those are your friends? Then I'm-"

"You're still my friend Roxas," she cut me off. "I like you best out of all my friends." She laced her hands together in a feminine fashion.

"Namine…" I got up and approached where she was sitting. I reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, but she disappeared just like her "friends" did.

"Namine? Namine! Where are you Namine?" I shouted. My vision was twisting again. The room looked like it was in a washing machine at the Laundromat. "Namine! Where? What? Come back! Namine!"

The scene was replaced with a hospital room.

---

Psychoticbunny: Oh my god. You have _no idea _how annoying that scene with the Nobodies was. I had to go to (my hero!) and look up every single friggin' scene. Then, I had to back and forth typing them up. It was basically the same thing, only I switched a couple of details up and the stained glass stairs were in Kingdom Hearts 1, not 2. I just like the idea of stained glass stairs. :) The song was Take out the Trash by They Might be Giants. Did anyone else notice I keep on having my characters sing songs that are sung by the opposite gender? I think it's kind of funny. Originally it was 'Girl! Why not take out the trash' but I changed that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter because it was a real pain to write. It's about 4,000 words including the author's note. Anyway, I might add a bit of one-sided NaminexRoxas. I don't want to kill Riku though. He's my second favorite character (favorite character being Roxas XD). I still might have to. Bye! ;D


	12. Chapter 12

Psychoticbunny: This chapter came out quickly. It's going to be a bit more of… not fantasy. Just not realistic fiction. You'll see. Also, the part after the --- is not a mistake. You'll see what I mean. Just read it through. Review replies!

Cherry- Thanks. You deserve tofu fudge thingys too! You're one of my favorite reviewers! Here! I worked really hard on this chapter too! (just minus the annoying trip to but I'm happy I don't have to do that again)

Roxas: She does enough things to me even when she _doesn't _own me.

Psychoticbunny: 'giggles innocently' Warnings are cursing, suicide, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I don't have the attention span for this. Just read the chapter.

---

My head felt like it was about to crack open. I groaned. I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to find out what happened. I felt incredibly tired, as if I had just run a three-kilometer race. Maybe I could go back to sleep… No. I couldn't obtain some much-needed rest, though I could feel my body nagging me to place my head back on the pillow and float away in Dream Land.

I pulled up my exhausted body into a sitting position, groaning once more as my head lit on fire.

"Roxas?" I heard a female voice call.

"Namine?" I thought, but it wasn't her. Namine's voice was softer and quieter.

"Huh? No, this is Kairi," she said. "Who's Namine?"

My vision finally came into focus. Kairi was sitting on a chair next to my bed, but she was my only visitor. What happened?

"Namine? She's my friend…"

All of my memories came shooting back into my head.

"Ah! Riku! Where is he? Is he okay? Where's Sora? Why are you-"

Kairi placed her hand over my mouth to shut me up. "Calm yourself, Iago, as Jafar would say. I don't know Riku's status. I decided to come keep you company because Sora inevitably wanted to be with Riku and your parents seem to follow him around like little ducklings." Yep. Those were my parents all right. "I dunno. I guess I've kind of taken a liking to you. Also, it would be really depressing and scary to wake up in a hospital room all alone."

"Thanks," I said with a smile. I guessed Kairi wasn't as evil as Riku made her out to be. I shouldn't have just trusted his opinion. She was only trying to protect her friend. She might not have done the best job though…

"Roxas?" Kairi waved a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry. I spaced off," I explained, rubbing the back of my head and laughing a bit for no reason.

"No. I couldn't tell." I guess Riku and I weren't the only ones who could use sarcasm. Riku…

"Hey. Would there be any way for me to find out how Riku's doing?" I asked, but before I could get an answer, three familiar faces appeared in the room.

"I told you it was this one," Zexion said smugly.

"Oh, shut it. I'm a dumb ass, okay, I get it." Axel was glaring at the expression on his face.

"Hey guys. Do you think you might want to pay some attention to the person we came to see," Larxene interrupted the intense glaring session going on.

"Oh yeah! I forgot! Roxas! Are you okay?" Axel exclaimed with such concern I ignored the 'I forgot' part and nodded. "Oh good."

"Wait… the journal!" I blurted, forgetting that there were three other people in the room.

Axel's face faltered for a moment, but then he just grinned again. "What're you talking about? Don't worry. I'm sure that no one's at home to read your journal."

"Oh. Oh yeah. T-that's right." I put on a fake smile of my own. "Can I just speak with Axel for a moment? It's really personal."

The three others looked a bit suspicious, but left nonetheless.

"As for the journal, forget it," Axel said as Kairi shut the door. It was white…

"Forget it? No way. Listen, I'm glad you're not mad at me for reading through it and, well, stealing it too, but I want to know about you. And you won't ever tell me anything. I want to help. Please Axel! I love, uh, love helping others!" I mentally thanked my guardian up in heaven for letting me catch myself. "Yeah. I want to help you and… stuff," I finished lamely.

"What did you want to say?" Axel asked.

"What do you mean?" I questioned in return.

"When you said you love something. Talk about blank with a capital 'B.'"

I briefly shot him a glare before declaring, "I meant that I love helping people. Why did you need me to repeat it?"

He gave me a look. "I'm not stupid, got it memorized? You wanted to say something else, but you caught yourself. You can tell me."

I started to open my mouth, but paused to contemplate whether or not to tell him. While I was thinking, I saw Axel take out a cigarette and begin to smoke it out of the corner of my eye.

"What are you doing? You can't smoke in a hospital! It's bad for the patients, and bad for yourself too!" I lectured.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. How about this: I'll stop smoking if you tell me what you were going to say," he proposed.

"No, it's… I just can't tell you."

He dangled the cigarette in front of my nose tauntingly.

"Fine, fine. I'll spill. Just get that thing away from me! Do you know how many people die because of second hand smoking? Do you even care?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't care. Now get on with it Mom."

I glared and he gave an innocent look that was so obviously fake I would have laughed, had it not been that I was about to reveal my feelings in a matter of seconds.

"IwasgoingtosaythatIloveyou," I said so quickly I almost surprised myself. "Now you have to put that cancer stick away!"

"That answer does not pass the Axel Inspection. It has been filed in the bologna category."

Great. What now? Oddly enough, I didn't think that, 'OMG! Axel, I, like, so totally love you so will you please, like, marry me so we can somehow defy the laws of nature and have seven kids?' would blow over too well.

I took a deep breath. Might as well just get it over with. "I was going to say that I love you."

I could hear the cigarette drop on the ground even as I looked down at my hands shyly. There room was quiet. If I listened hard enough, I could hear a bit of Zexion, Larxene, and Kairi's conversation. I think they were talking about the hospital food.

I finally managed to overcome my embarrassment and look at Axel. He was staring at me like I said I was deciding to change my entire wardrobe to consist entirely of pink tutus and bunny ears. Which, I'm quite sure I would not have followed up on, even if I _had _said that.

"Uh…" he said stupidly.

With a sudden surge of bravery, I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his, knocking our noses together in the process, but not caring.

We fell down with the force of my lunge. I laid on his body like he was a couch rather than a person, resting my head on his chest. I felt the faint taste of his cigarette tingling on my lips. His chest rose up and down slowly. I felt like going back to sleep.

"Wow…" was all he could say. "I feel like an ass for making you say that, but… damn! It was so worth it."

I slapped his shoulder with my hand.

"Owie! Roxas is a meany-head!" he claimed childishly.

I rolled my eyes, not that he could see from where I was buried in his shirt. It smelled like… smoke. What a surprise. I guessed I could convince him to quit smoking later. At that moment, all I wanted to do was lie there be with Axel.

Evidently, my guardian angel up in heaven did _not _want that and decided he had done enough work that day.

"Axel? Roxas? We're coming in!" chorused Larxene, Zexion, and Kairi. I guessed hospital food could amuse them for only so long.

I hopped off Axel as quickly as possible, felt a surge of pain from my head, and fell back on Axel. Oh well. You can't say I didn't try.

"S-sorry. Did we interrupt something?" Kairi said, eyes wide.

"What? No, no you didn't!" I started blathering about trying to stand up and then falling down. It seemed believable because a second later, they were all nodding their heads in understanding. Technically, I wasn't lying. I _really did_ try to stand up and ended up dropping down again due to a headache. I just didn't mention the kissing part. If I were writing a story then, I would have dedicated it to loopholes.

"Do you want to check on Riku now? I found out where his room is," Kairi stated.

"Let him go see his friend, Axel. We need to get back anyway or Mansex will pin our asses up on his office wall," Larxene added.

"Okay. See ya, Roxie-poo!" He waved goodbye and escaped before I could tell him off about my new nickname.

Kairi gave me a look, but basically brushed the name off. She gestured for me to follow her as she led me through several hallways.

"Here it is. I can't go with you," she murmured and stood to the side of the door. I nodded at her and entered.

Riku was lying on a hospital bed with numerous tubes connected to various parts of his body. There was a machine next to him beeping steadily. I presumed that it was reading his heartbeat. Sora was on a chair right next to him, stroking his head tenderly. My parents were sitting in the corner in the room. Riku was still unconscious.

"Hi Roxas," Sora said in what was supposed to be a cheery voice. It came out sounding like he hadn't drunk anything in several days straight.

"Hey. How's he doing?" I inquired.

"They're not sure if he'll live or not."

"Oh."

Sora returned to petting Riku's head. It was then that I realized he was whispering things into his ears. I wondered if Riku could even hear him then. Maybe to him it was only a faint buzzing from somewhere far away.

Riku slowly cracked his eyes opened.

"Wha? Huh?" he said drowsily.

"Riku!" Sora called out, throwing his arms around the teenager. He kissed Riku on the side of his head for an oxygen mask had been placed over his mouth and part of his cheeks. Even in his half-asleep state, Riku blushed heavily. You could barely hear the quiet sobs outside over Sora telling Riku to never scare him like that ever again. I touched the wall and as if I was actually outside, the sobs died down.

"I'll get a doctor," my mom offered and my dad said he'd join her. They left the room at record speed.

Now alone with the couple, I felt like an extra passenger. I glanced back at the door, but I heard Riku call me back. "Roxas, wait."

Sora had stopped fussing over Riku and Riku had taken off his oxygen mask so he could talk and for… more uses with Sora. I wasn't too sure if it was safe for him to do that, but I let it slide.

"How do you feel?" I asked as I took the seat next to Sora's.

"Like shit." Wow. So subtle. His voice was weaker than usual.

Sora bent over and planted a kiss on his uncovered mouth. "_Now_, how do you feel?"

"Like the happiest sixteen year old on Earth." He beamed up at his new boyfriend. "How do _you _feel? I heard you were spazzing out near my body when the ambulance. What happened?"

"Nothing. I think I was just upset over seeing your body and I went into insane mode," I clarified. I had conveniently forgotten about Namine, her "friends," and the keyblade.

"My hair…" I looked at Riku incredulously. He was _still _going on about that goddamn hair? You couldn't even see the burnt marks anymore. In fact, if I didn't know better I would say… "It grew back. My hair's started growing again." He smiled at me and kissed Sora briefly.

"Um. Excuse me, but you must put your oxygen mask back on," came the deep, business-like voice of the doctor. Riku sighed and put the mask back on his face.

The doctor checked some of the machines surrounding Riku's bed and Sora caressed his head a bit. This time I could hear what he was saying. "I was so worried. It's all going to be okay now, though. I love you so much." Merely sweet nothings, yet Riku seemed to calm down instantly when he did so. Would Axel and I ever share that bond?

Riku started to cough a bit and the doctor made Sora move further back as he examined the many tubes hanging from random devices all around the room.

"Okay, he looks good," the doctor notified us. "He should live through this. The signs are positive."

It was a happy moment. Everything was going right for once. I loved Axel and he loved me back. Sora and Riku could finally be together and Kairi had worked up the courage to enter the room a few seconds later. I truly believed that my adventures would be over then and there. Everything was just _so _perfect one second, and so horrible the next.

The steady beeping on the mechanism beside Riku stopped. He dropped back down on his bed like a rag doll. The doctor called for more help and soon the room was swarming with men and women in white coats.

I was caught in the middle of the confusion, getting pushed every which way by all the people rushing by me.

"Wait!" I said, trying to fight my way closer to Riku. "Let me get through!"

It was like no one could hear me. I reached my hand out to alert a less busy woman with glasses on my left I needed help, but my hand passed right through her.

I stumbled backwards and hit the railing in the middle of the hallway. I tipped over the edge and fell off with a scream for help. No one heard.

"Roxas."

Namine's here, I thought dimly as I was about a meter from the hard ground I would hit only a moment later.

---

My head felt like it was about to crack open. I groaned. I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to find out what happened. I felt incredibly tired, as if I had just run a three-kilometer race. Maybe I could go back to sleep… No. I couldn't obtain some much-needed rest, though I could feel my body nagging me to place my head back on the pillow and float away in Dream Land.

I pulled my exhausted body into a sitting position, groaning once more as my head lit on fire.

"Roxas?" I heard a female voice call.

"Namine?" I thought, but it wasn't her. Namine's voice was softer and quieter.

"Huh? No, this is Kairi," she said. "Who's Namine?"

My vision finally came into focus. Kairi was sitting on a chair next to my bed, but she was my only visitor. What happened?

"Namine? She's my friend…"

All of my memories came shooting back into my head.

"Wait! So that whole thing was a dream?" I asked.

"What do you mean Roxas?" answered two voices from beside me. Namine had appeared in the chair next to Kairi.

---

Psychoticbunny: That chapter was fun to write. I hope none of you stopped when you saw it started repeating because it _was_ on purpose. See you next time! ;D 'flies off on an umbrella like Mary Poppins'

Roxas: Three words. What. The. Hell. Hey wait a minute! That's my umbrella! 'flies off on another umbrella after her'


	13. Chapter 13

Psychoticbunny: Okay peoples. For those of you who are confused, you will be confused no longer! This chapter's going to explain everything. Well, almost everything. Also, I'm probably not going to update for about a week because I've decided to write three chapters for this fic, then three chapters for my other fic, then three chapters for this one again, and so on, but let's just get to the review replies.

Cherry- Thanks. I'm happy you like the chapter. I think it was actually my favorite chapter too. It sure was a lot of fun to write. I love you too and all of the other viewers who are reading this for no apparent reason whatsoever, seeing as most of this doesn't apply to them. Hope you enjoy this chapter too!

Disclaimer: I own my computer. And that's good enough for me, even though it's not a really super cool and awesome video game character.

Warnings: Blah, blah, blah, I'm seriously waaaaay too lazy to do the warnings anymore. I might just cut them out. Now read the chapter or else!

---

I blinked disbelievingly to clear my eyes of whatever was messing up my vision, but when I reopened them, Namine was still sitting there, her lips curving into a smile.

"Kairi? Can you see that girl too?" I asked, but there was no response. Kairi was frozen in her chair.

"Kairi? She's Kairi? She's your friend?" Namine questioned and I nodded. "Hm. Do you like me or her better?"

I shrugged. "You guys are both my friends. I like you both the same."

Namine was no longer smiling. "But I was here first. Were you upset with me? Is that why you wanted to replace me? I'm so sorry. Whatever I did, I'll make it up to you, I promise. I know you aren't the best at keeping promises, but I always come through with them." She was smiling again.

"Namine," I said, thinking back to the scene at the orphanage, "I never forgot about you. I just was busy."

"You never used to be busy," she pointed out. "I'd always come to you when my parents were mad at me or when I wanted to escape from that orphanage and you were always there. But then you stopped being there. I saw you with that blond boy. You liked him best." She looked down at her lap dejectedly.

"I didn't like him best. I was just spending a lot of time with him because we made a lot of plans. I never liked him best. To tell you the truth, I can't even be mad at you for killing him because I guess… I guess I just don't want to believe that someone as important to me as you would kill someone who's also so important. I didn't like either of you more than the other."

"All of my other friends like me best. They tell me it all the time. They compliment my drawings too, you know. They compliment everything about me. They like everything about me. They are good friends. I want you to be a good friend too because I like you the best. I always have, Roxas."

"Namine, being a friend has nothing to do with how many times you say that you like certain aspects of a person. It has to do with your attraction to the person. You're my friend because you've always somehow understood me and I always felt comfortable with you. I felt that you were someone I could trust."

"Trust…" she repeated the word, as if to try it out. "You… trust me?"

"Of course, Namine. You're my best friend. It would be strange if I didn't trust you," I told her.

"No! I shouldn't… I have to… Roxas you…" she started rambling incomplete sentences and freaking out. I put my arms around her to comfort her, but she only became more distressed.

"I… you… Xehanort… you need to… I need to…"

Everything was twisting again. I looked down at Namine only to find that I was hugging nothing but air. Then, everything started again as if nothing ever happened.

"Why don't you tell me about your dream?" Kairi suggested.

I slumped down on the bed. What had happened?

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

I nodded, too weak to vocalize an answer.

"Didn't I… didn't I fall? From that rail in the hallway? After Riku died?" I said, desperate to clear some things up.

Kairi gave me a quizzical look. "Fall? No. How did you know there was a rail in the hallway when you haven't left your room? And how did you know that Riku died? You were unconscious when that happened. You've been in this room, sleeping, ever since you went mental over Riku's suicide attempt."

"What? But I… were Axel, Larxene, and Zexion here?"

She shook her head while giving me an odd look.

Then all of that didn't actually happen with Axel. I was really depressed then. I hadn't admitted I loved him, in that case.

Kairi was still giving me that look.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Who are you anyway? I don't even know why I'm here," she replied, getting up from her chair.

"What? It's me, Roxas. We're, well, I guess you'd consider us friends," I protested.

"No. I don't know you at all. Friends? I don't even know who you are!" Kairi cried out.

She ran out of the room frantically. I wanted to call out, "Wait!" after her, but I doubted she would respond. She thought I was a complete stranger. And people said _I _was going mental.

A very strange fact hit me. One of my friends just said that they had no idea who I was and I wasn't the least bit distraught. In fact, I wasn't feeling anything at all. I tried to make myself feel sad, but it was like my heart didn't even exist.

I stood up and pressed my hand there, noticing the absence of steady thumps. Was I dead? I didn't have a heartbeat so I decided it was the most logical solution.

I walked out of my hospital room. My parents and Sora were outside. They looked like they were just about to open the door.

"I'm so sorry," my mom apologized. "This must be the wrong room."

"Wait I-" but they were already halfway down the hallway.

It occurred to me that my life was being pulled away from me, piece by piece. Namine, Hayner, Riku, Kairi, and now Sora and my parents. I wasn't upset at all. I didn't care if no one remembered who I was. I should have. I had the feeling something was missing.

An idea struck me. I dashed out of the building and ran down street after street until I reached it. The orphanage.

I knocked on the door, expecting Axel, Larxene, or Zexion to open the large wooden mass. To my surprise, it was opened by that person with silver, waist-long hair I had seen on my way out after I had visited Axel and stole the journal.

"Ah. Good. We've been waiting for you, Roxas," he said.

I didn't say anything for I had no clue what to say in response to that. Instead, I took in the man's appearance. He had creepy eyes, an unnatural yellow color and was dressed in a black cloak.

He held out his hand and I grudgingly took it.

"You're probably wondering what's been going on lately," he said.

"Yeah, I am," I agreed. I wished he would let go of my hand.

He grinned, showing a full set of gleaming white teeth. I had expected them to be dirty.

Before I could object, he threw me into a room and locked the door. I couldn't see anything due to the fact that the only lighting the room had was a tiny window in the corner. I screamed and tried to protest, but he had probably already walked away. I was trapped.

"Were am I?" I requested to nobody. "Someone get me out of here! Help! Help! Someone! Anyone! Somebody help me please!"

There was no answer. Was I really expecting one?

"Help!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "HELP ME!" No use. All that I had accomplished was hurting my throat. Still, I kept trying.

"HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME! I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE! SOMEONE! HELP ME PLEASE!"

I was on the verge of breaking down and crying. No one cared about me anymore. No one would try to help me. No one ever remembered me!

Amazingly, someone _did _help me. The door creaked open and light flooded the dark chamber. I had to close my eyes at first.

"Roxas?"

"Yeah, it's me."

I felt a delicate hand grasp mine and begin to drag me somewhere. I opened my eyes to smooth blond hair, swinging back and forth from the movement. I tried to memorize the hallways and passages we were going through, but I couldn't; there were just too many. I focused my attention back on the girl leading me.

"Nami-"

She whipped her head back and shushed me. I had the feeling she would be in trouble for doing this, so I shut up.

We finally walked down a corridor with a dead end of a white door. She reached for the handle and turned.

It was the same room I had visited in my dreams. Looking closer at the drawings, they were pictures of me in various scenes from the fantasy realm. There was that creature I fought. 'Twilight Thorn' was written in neat handwriting on the bottom right. Next to that picture were the lesser ones I had defeated. That one was labeled 'Dusks.' There were even more after those. A huge one with some sort of giant weapon in its hand was after that and then ones that looked like they could morph and change shapes by the diagram shown on the paper. Were all of the monsters her creations?

She placed me where I had sat the last time I came. She continued around the table until she was facing me on the opposite end, exactly like last time.

"Namine…"

"Hush, Roxas. I will explain everything that has happened." I refrained from asking the thousands of questions swirling around in my head for my thirst for knowledge. "Lately, everything in your life has been turned upside down." I nodded in agreement. It was only too true. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

"I'm sure when you… when you shot Hayner you just weren't in the right mind. It's not your fault. I don't blame you," I told her.

"No, no. Be quiet Roxas. Please. You're making me feel even worse than I already do.

"Now, I'll clarify what's going on. Hayner isn't the only thing you should blame me for. There's a great deal more that I'm the cause of. I'm so sorry.

"I'll start off from the beginning I guess. I haven't been entirely honest with you about my powers. You know I can read minds and what not. However, the real reason my parents called me a witch child was because of what I could _do _with those minds. I can change people's memories, make them believe in things that never happened. That day on the swings, I never cheered you up. I saw you and decided I really liked you. I simply wanted to be your friend. I put in the part where I made you feel better. In reality, you just stayed in that park until midnight before going home. The time I told you what my parents call me and about my powers, I was even too cowardly to do that. I edited in the memory so that you would accept me no matter what. I was afraid of being hurt, Roxas. I'm so sorry. I've made you live in so many lies. I never even shot Hayner. I just put that in to cover up for when I convinced him into committing suicide. I've edited my way past everything. I've been living in darkness, using horrible tricks to corrupt your life until I was happy with how everything turned out. I'm so sorry.

"All those dreams weren't dreams. They happened, but it was all in your head. The platform scene was all inside your mind. They happened, though. Riku Okami died in that hospital at 2: 32 p.m. with Sora Hikari by his side on Thursday, May 15th. However, no Roxas Hikari was there. That is because no Roxas Hikari was in the hospital. No Roxas Hikari fell off the railing in that location two minutes after Riku Okami's death because there was no Roxas Hikari was there to fall. You see Roxas, you don't even exist. Nor do I. Nor do Axel, Larxene, Zexion, or any of the members of a group we call Organization XIII."

I didn't know what to say. Here I was, being told that my whole life had been formed through deception and I never even existed at all. "How can you say that? Even if it is true…"

"It doesn't matter, does it? Think about it, you can't even feel the pain of knowing your life was useless. It makes it a bit easier, doesn't it? It's a bit hard at first, getting used to not having a heart, but…" I tuned out the last part.

"Wait. Not have a heart? I have a heart. If I didn't have a heart, I would be dead, and I'm assuming I'm not dead."

She gave me a knowing smile. "Roxas, Nobodies don't need hearts. We function without them because we aren't real people. We're just fakes, empty shells. Empty shells don't have emotions. We pretend sometimes, just to try to remember from when we _did _have them. For instance, I fell in love with you. I tried to think of you in a romantic way so I could know what it was like, but it doesn't really work too well."

"Nobodies? What are Nobodies?"

"Nobodies are us, Roxas. The shells that have been left behind. Hey, watch this."

She took out a piece of paper and a pencil, wrote something down, and then held it up so I could see. It read, 'Roxas.'

"Okay, that's my name," I said, unsure of what she was planning.

She put the paper back down and wrote some more before showing it to me again. She had put the 'X' at the top of the page and arranged all the other letters to spell something else.

"Sora," I read.

"Yes, Sora. You are his shell. I named you, you know. I thought Roxas was a very good name indeed. Don't you like it? It would have been Soxra if I hadn't switched it around a bit and made it a little less obvious."

"Wait. So only the members of Organization XIII are Nobodies," I concluded.

"No, not only them. Those creatures you fought were Nobodies too. They were just of a lower class. You are the most intelligent type of Nobodies, ones that can think, plan, deceive, and sometimes almost feel emotion towards things. The others are under our command."

"Do we… um… have a goal of some sort?"

"Yes, we do. To get hearts of our own. That's what the leader, Xemnas', plan is. Well, his real name is Xehanort and…"

She went back to the piece of paper and demonstrated how you could rearrange the letters in his name to spell 'no heart.'

"So… does everybody have a matching Nobody?"

"Yes. However, when they have a Nobody as high up as you, they may sustain damage. For instance, Sora became seriously ill because of your status. He'll get better now, though."

"Better? Why?"

"Because the only reason you were injuring him was because of your ties to the world, the real world. You see, those were Sora's ties, that was Sora's life. Now that all of those ties have been severed, he will exist entirely and you, well, won't. But it happens to every Nobody. We all fade back into darkness sooner or later. I suggest you get used to the idea because you really can't do anything to stop it. Anyway, welcome to Organization XIII, member XIII."

"I'm member XIII? What member are you?"

"I'm not a member. I can't be because I have extra powers, powers that most Nobodies don't possess. In fact, some of them don't even know of my existence, well, non-existence."

"So none of the other Nobodies have powers?"

"Oh no. They all have their own special powers. I just have different, stronger ones. You, Roxas, the keyblade master, Axel's is fire, Larxene's is lightning, Zexion can make you see things that aren't really there, Vexen controls ice, Marluxia's is-"

"Wait," I said, interrupting the stream of names. "Who are all these people?"

"Oh. Just other members. I suppose you haven't met most of them, but you will, or else it would make a very unorganized organization, now wouldn't it? Is there anything else you would like to know?"

"Yes, yes there is. How will we achieve our goal? Go up to some random person and say, 'Hey! Do you need that heart? No? Oh good! I'll take that then!'"

She giggled. "No, no. Nothing like that. We-"

A portal of some sort jumped up behind her. It was sinister-looking, with swirls of black and a rich purple color.

"Namine. You were not to explain anything to him," said the equally frightening voice for the frightening appearance of the man who had trapped me in the room Namine rescued me from. He grabbed her and placed a gloved hand over her mouth to prevent her from talking. When I ran up to save her, I bounced back, finding there was some sort of invisible barrier between us.

"Let her go!" I demanded angrily, pounding my fists against whatever what holding me back.

She managed to get the hand blocking her face away and said, "We'll meet again Roxas!"

They disappeared into the portal.

---

Psychoticbunny: Okay. Chapter over. I'm done with my work. Hope that sorted things out for ya. Also, the last names were kind of a last minute thing. So yeah, I know they're pretty sucky. Bye!


	14. Chapter 14

Psychoticbunny: I'm back! Now, after all of that plot, comes the comic relief. And then some more plot in the next chapter. You can only escape it for so long. 'sighs' Now for review replies.

Cherry- Good. I'm happy you aren't confused any longer. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Iamapsychoticbunny- Well, as you can see, that wasn't the last chapter of the story. There will probably be over twenty chapters, maybe even over thirty. Thanks for reviewing!

Disclaimer: There comes a time in every fangirl's life when she has to admit that she really doesn't own any of the characters from her favorite video game.

Warnings: I can't even write these anymore because it's so boring. Just read, damn it, read!

---

"Nobody, huh?" I whispered to myself once the portal disappeared. I lifted up my hands and stared at them for a while. There wasn't anything special about them. No, they were just regular, old human hands.

Despite what Namine had said, I rested one of them on my chest. There was still no rhythmic beating. What was I supposed to feel like then? Was I supposed to be happy or sad or angry?

I plopped myself down on Namine's chair and rested my head on my arms. Since when had it become so heavy? I considered staying in that room for the rest of my life, staring at the white seat opposite of me. It wasn't like anyone would miss me.

Axel… would he miss me? Would he mourn over my disappearance, my death? No, he wouldn't. No one ever truly loved me, no one ever would.

I started singing to pass the time.

"All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head, running through my head. All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head, running through my head. This is not enough…"

I broke off to remember the rest of the words. I thought I heard someone's footsteps outside.

"I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost. If I'm asking for help it's only because being with you has opened my eyes. Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?"

I was just being paranoid. There's certainly no one outside.

"I keep asking myself, wondering how. I keep closing my eyes, but I can't block you out. Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me. Nobody else so we can be free, nobody else so we can be free."

I looked at the door, a bit fearful of someone randomly bursting in, but the door remained still, and the room remained almost painfully quiet.

"All the things she said, all the things she-"

I got up and somehow made the keyblade appear in an attempt to protect myself as the doorknob turned tortuously slowly. The door was now open a crack, but I couldn't recognize any person through the slim opening.

"W-who's there?" I demanded, hunching over further and grasping my weapon with both my hands, which were sweaty from anxiety. I could feel the keyblade slip in my tight grip slightly. My knuckles were turning white.

"Nice singing," came a familiar voice along with several claps before the door swung open to expose…

"Axel!" I exclaimed. I dropped my guard immediately to run up to him, but thankfully stopped myself before I hugged him. I had momentarily forgotten that the scene in the hospital was all in my head.

He looked somewhat disappointed and, to my surprise, wrapped his arms around my body. I blushed into his upper stomach. Damn his height! Why was I so short?

"Roxas, why are you still uncomfortable hugging me? I don't bite, you know. I thought after the scene in the hospital, you'd at least be more at ease with _that_."

"What?" I cried out, tilting my head up to face… his chin. Luckily, he gazed down at me after feeling my movement. "I thought that whole thing was inside my head. You mean I really did kiss you?"

"In your head? What have you been drinking Roxy? No way in hell, it was in your head. I can remember it like it was today. Oh wait. It was today, now wasn't it?" He let out a laugh and I chuckled a bit with him.

"Everything's so confusing." I buried my nose in his shirt. I could feel his ribcage pressed against my face. "You're skinny."

"And you're short."

I pouted at the comment, but he just laughed again and ruffled my hair. I pinched his back in return and he yelped and cursed in pain.

"You're mean!" he said, sticking his tongue out. I snorted in laughter at his immaturity.

His expression suddenly turned serious and I discontinued stifling my giggles. "Roxas, what happened anyway? What did you mean by in your head? And what are you doing in Namine's room?"

"Oh, well, in the hospital everyone began to forget me so I came here, hoping someone would remember me. However, a creepy man with silver hair and yellow eyes opened the door and locked me in some kind of prison. Don't worry, Namine rescued me," I added on the end as I saw his face twist into fury and concern.

"Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" Axel interrogated.

"Don't worry, don't worry. I'm fine. Again, Namine rescued me and explained everything to me. Well, she explained most of everything before she was dragged off by that man." I paused for a second, but then something hit me. "Wait a minute. Did you know Namine was alive all this time?" Axel nodded hesitantly. "Why didn't you tell me? I was so devastated! How dare you? She was- still is my best friend! I thought she was dead!" My previous gratitude towards Axel was replaced with anger. How could he keep such an important piece of information from me?

"Listen, if you knew she was alive, it would be more difficult to cut you off from the real world. She already had to work her ass off, erasing all of those people's memories of you and replacing them with other ones. Can't just have empty spaces in your memory now…"

I wanted to punch him so badly even though the little voice in my head was telling me it was necessary to keep some things from me. Something about him made my blood boil though. Almost like I was a real human, not simply some vacant shell with no use.

"I'm sorry, Roxas. I wanted to tell you everything. It was horrible watching you fall apart, but you managed to pick up the pieces. You're very strong." He smiled at me. I didn't return it, but I didn't slap him either.

"I… I… I know," I sighed. I was feeling rather worn out from the events of the day. "Hey Axel. Is there anywhere I can sleep?"

"Sure. You can stay with me until you get your own room. I hope you're near me!" His mood seemed to brighten as soon as he realized I wasn't mad at him anymore. Like a puppy. A cute puppy.

I leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. I was a sucker for cute things, though it's not exactly the most masculine feature ever. It didn't matter; I wasn't going to change myself so I could be more of a man. I'm not even a human so I supposed it wouldn't really matter too much.

"Can we go then?" I asked impatiently, tugging at the bottom of Axel's shirt. Immaturity was contagious.

"Sure we can!" he told me with a mischievous look. I didn't have the time to decipher it because a second later, I has been swept into his arms. I shrieked and tried to wiggle my way out of his grasp. Just because I didn't care about being manly didn't mean I was going to throw all of my masculine dignity into the wind.

Eventually, after a great deal of snickering (on Axel's part) and struggling and kicking (on my part), we made it to Axel's room with only minor injury, too.

Axel clutched his swollen cheek as he directed me to sleep in his bed and he'd sleep on the floor. I was much too tired to protest. I fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillow.

---

There was one word to describe the situation I was in: awkward. I had somehow managed to roll of Axel's bed in the middle of the night and happened to tumble upon aforementioned redhead, who apparently was convinced I was his teddy bear.

"Axel, move your arms," I whispered in his ear, hoping he would react. He did. He held me closer and mumbled something about ice cream and… ew. I felt a blush rise onto my face after he muttered the last part. I did _not _need to hear that.

I was feeling increasingly uneasy with every passing second. I squirmed and jiggled, but Axel slept like a perverted rock. I had heard several other… _comments_ in the past however long I had been trying and failing to pry Axel's arms off. Maybe if I gnawed at his shoulders for long enough, they would both fall off…

I shuddered at the mental image I created of Axel severed arms and me cracking a grin with bloodstained teeth, which only led to him tightening his grip. Any tighter and I would have to say goodbye to oxygen. I let out a little gurgle sound as he did so and glared as a smirk formed on his handsome face.

…

Wait a minute. Smirk? That bastard was awake all this time!

"Axel! Stop that or I'll bite your nose." I really needed to rethink those threats.

"No, not my nose!" he cried sarcastically, opening emerald eyes so slightly the iris was barely seen. I might not have noticed, had the color not been as mesmerizing.

"Okay, haha. But seriously let go unless you want to be hugging a dead body instead of a live one," I threatened.

"You're so much nicer when you think I'm sleeping. And it's so cute how you always get so hot and bothered over stuff like licking-"

I silenced him with my lips, no other body part being free, unless I wanted to shove my hair up his nose. I had no intention of listening to the rest of that sentence. I also had no intention of having Axel's tongue forced into my mouth, but it happened anyway. Don't be fooled by the way I was shyly returning it and trying to poke my own wet muscle past his: I was extremely distressed.

"Mm Axel."

He started trailing his tongue down my neck, leaving a path of saliva. I first was only thinking of how unsanitary it was, but forgot all about my motherly nature as he kissed my neck gently.

Well, if I wasn't going to be the mother, someone else was.

"Ew! Axel! That's disgusting! Cut it out! Quit molesting the poor boy! What are you, some kind of pedophile?"

Saved (?) by Larxene. I guessed we were too… occupied to perceive her entrance.

"You're no fun!" Axel complained, sitting up. I followed his lead and pulled my body up while I wiped up some of the dribble with my shirt.

"You're _too_ fun! You owe the boy an explanation! He has no idea what's going on!" Larxene lectured. Axel was totally uninterested.

"Namine explained it already. Can I go back to molesting him now? Oh never mind, actually. You really spoiled the mood, you know!" He pouted and I resisted pinching his cheeks. I didn't think that would've been appropriate, nor would he have appreciated it.

"You can _not _molest XIII! Anyway, breakfast is ready. Come on, XIII. I'll show you around and give you a break from that creep. Seriously, Axel, there's a seven year difference." Larxene helped me up and dragged me to the kitchen, leaving a depressed and sexually deprived Axel behind.

So there was a seven-year difference. That meant he was twenty-one.

"Are you okay?" Larxene asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine, thanks. And by the way, my name's Roxas, not XIII."

"I know. It's just that I call everyone besides Axel and Zexion by their number," she explained.

"Can I meet the other members?" I asked.

"Sure. They're probably all eating now. Unless XI is in the garden again. And there's also the chance that IV is still in his laboratory. Of course, He never eats with us. I just hope IX didn't bring his sitar to the table again. I had a headache for the rest of the day the last time he did that."

"Um…" A sitar? What was a sitar? Oh. That was a sitar.

We walked into a kitchen-like room with a long table in the middle that could fit thirteen people. There was a man that looked to be about the same age as Axel, Larxene, and Zexion with a giant guitar-like instrument in his lap. He was twisting some of the knobs at the end as he tuned what I guessed was a sitar, but stopped once he saw us.

"Morning XII! How are you? Oh! That must be XII! He's so cute! Isn't it exciting that we have a new member? You know, my sitar's sounding good today. I just had some toast a moment earlier. I can touch my nose with my tongue!" He went on about some sort of band he wanted to make and how X was cheating in card games again, bouncing in his seat the whole time.

I took this time to observe everyone else. Next to the hyperactive man was an older one with an eye-patch, making him look like some kind of pirate. He was having a quiet discussion with another member with long sliver hair with a bluish tint. The third glanced up at me briefly and then went back to the conversation. I spotted Zexion sitting across from them with a bored expression on his face while a blond chatted away, gesturing at a green liquid in a tube as he did so.

"Don't worry. He's the only member with ADHD. The rest are really calm, especially compared to him," Larxene whispered, pulling me out of my thoughts, and then said the rest louder. "I think I'm gonna introduce him now."

"And then VII started lecturing me and- what? Oh! Okay, I'll be quiet."

"Thank you," Larxene said. "XIII, this is IX. The one sitting next to him is II and then there's-"

"Could you tell me their real names too?" I interrupted.

"Okay. Here's IX, or Demyx and II, or Xigbar is the one next to him. That's VII, Saix and further down is XI, Marluxia." A pink-haired man at the end waved to me, but I received no reaction from the other two, although Demyx made up for them by waving energetically with both his arms. "Across from him, the one with red hair is V, Lexaeus." I was a bit afraid of this one; he was muscular and fierce-looking. "Here's IV, Vexen, and you know Zexion." The blond man glared at me and then went back to tormenting Zexion, who simply gave me a fleeting look.

"Hm. I suppose Xaldin went on a mission. Whatever. You can meet him later."

"Do you want something to eat?" Zexion offered, finally accomplished with shaking off Vexen, who then went on to bore Marluxia to death.

As soon as he asked, I recognized the feeling of hunger. "Yeah. Food would be nice."

"It's a good thing Axel didn't burn down the kitchen today," Larxene commented as she made me some toast. "Would you like some jam?"

"Sure," I replied. I took the seat Vexen had deserted beside Zexion.

"Hey Sexy-Zexy! Do you think I should dye my hair green? You know, just the tips!" Demyx asked. I waited for Zexion to snap at him for the nickname, but oddly enough, he didn't seem angered by it.

"You're hair looks fine how it is now," he told him.

"I know, but wouldn't it be cool?"

"No. I like it this way."

"Okay. I'll keep it then." He leaned across the table and pecked the stoic man on the nose before strolling out the kitchen, saying something about learning how to do a back flip at the same time as he juggled pogo-sticks. Zexion looked worried, but seemed to brush off the remark.

"Here you go!" Larxene chirped as she set down a plate at set my toast with jam on it. I thanked her and bit into it. She sat down on my other side, biting into some toast of her own. "Hey, Zexion. Do you want to get Axel? You can even have some fun with it."

Zexion looked reluctant at first, but his face perked up at the last sentence. He smirked and left the room.

"XIII," I looked up to find Saix impolitely staring at me.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Did you, or did you not, have sex with Axel?"

I choked on the soggy piece of bread in my mouth and Larxene encouraged me to cough it up. I miraculously managed to swallow the piece and gasped out a breathy, "No!"

"So what is your relationship with him?" he went on questioning me, completely ignoring the fact I almost died a minute before.

"Well, I… uh…" Come to think of it, I didn't really know, myself. I assumed we were boyfriends, but the topic was never mentioned. "Friends. Yeah. We're friends is all."

"I see…" He turned back to Xigbar and began a hushed discussion, each of them shooting glances at me every so often. I was about to demand for them to cut it out, but was cut short as a scream and Axel charging into the kitchen a moment later.

"So… scary," he muttered between pants. Zexion slunk into the room after him, a satisfied smirk gracing his face. I looked back and forth quizzically. Zexion winked at Larxene and she giggled.

"Oh god. That was so horrible. I hate you, Zexion," Axel complained, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and burying his face into my hair. I saw Saix staring intently at me once more, but he kept his mouth shut this time.

I squeaked in protest as Axel shifted his body weight on me to reach over and steal a bite of my breakfast.

"Hey! That was mine!" I whined.

"Want it back?"

I didn't have a chance to scold him for speaking with food in his mouth for he had pressed his mouth to mine and pushed the food inside.

"Mmrphruglm!" I shouted. He withdrew his mouth. "That was gross!" My face had heated up.

"It really was," Larxene agreed, handing me a napkin.

I couldn't believe Axel could be so open with our bond. I wiped my mouth all over with the napkin as I tuned out my thoughts, which were telling me I secretly enjoyed the kiss. Strangely enough, it was almost as if they were actually a person murmuring the fact in my ear. Wait…

"Axel! Cut that out!" I shrieked.

He guffawed a little and then moved away to make some toast. I watched him; I really had nothing better to do. He removed two pieces of bread from the bag and placed one on each of his hands, holding them flat. I almost died for the second time that morning as I narrowly escaped having a heart attack when flames shot out of his palms.

"Damn. They never come out light brown," Axel said in a disappointed tone, taking the seat next to me and munching on the charred bread nonetheless. This seemed to be absolutely normal because everyone else had ignored the incident. I banged my head on the table. Living here was going to take some adaptation.

---

"Do I really have to wear this?" I asked Axel.

"Yep," he replied. "I know how awful it is. It's so concealing! I can't see any part of your body at all! I wish the uniform was-"

"La la la! I can't hear you! La la la!" I covered my ears with hands. My gloved hands. This uniform was really ridiculous (although Axel's uniform was probably worse). We looked like vampires in the large, black cloaks. We also had to wear black gloves and black boots. I wouldn't have been surprised if we would have to put on fake fangs, too. Were we going on missions, or giving small children a fright?

"I think dating a brick wall would be more exciting than dating you," Axel said bitterly.

"Hey guys," Zexion greeted as he stepped through the doorway. "I've been sent by Larxene to make sure Roxas doesn't get raped."

"You all have such little trust in me!" He pretended to cry until I stomped on his foot. "Why does everyone hate me?"

"Probably because you're annoying as hell and the most perverted man in the universe," I insulted bluntly.

"That was cold, Roxy."

"Hn."

"Jeez. You sound like some emo anime character," he stated.

"What on Earth is anime?" I asked after digging my heel into his foot again, despite not understanding the full meaning of the insult.

He gasped, partially out of surprise, partially out of pain. "Anime is Japanese cartoons! They're the best! How can you not know what anime is? You never saw Naruto, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, Gravitation, Loveless-"

"Okay, Axel. We get that there are ten billion anime series that Roxas has not seen," Zexion piped up.

"Well, I've seen Spongebob Squarepants," I informed him.

He snorted incredulously. "Spongebob Squarepants isn't anime! It's an American cartoon. Anime's _Japanese_."

"I don't know anything about Japan besides that they bombed Pearl Harbor. That doesn't exactly leave a good impression, too. I really don't care about Japan at all. I think India's cool though…" Axel glared at me. "What? It's not against the law to dislike certain countries."

"Hey, idiots. XIII is going to be late for his meeting with Him. You can continue this later," Larxene said as she poked her head through the door. "I'll take you to him, XIII. Just follow me."

I nodded and left the room, pulling up my hood. Whenever it was up, it was hard to make out the face of the wearer. I felt more protected like that and with this "He," I had a feeling I would need all of the protection I could get.

---

Psychoticbunny: So, there's your chapter. Sorry if I spelled any of the anime incorrectly, but I was too lazy to dig up the manga. By the way, the song was All the Things She Said by t.A.T.u. Reviewers get dead birds!

Roxas: Um… ew. You're more repulsive than Axel.

Psychoticbunny: 'giggles innocently'


	15. Chapter 15

Psychoticbunny: I'm too lazy to think of anything to say so I'll move onto the review replies.

Cherry- I can't touch my tongue to my nose. I feel so left out! I will never get over this depression. 'two seconds later' Thanks a bunch for reviewing! Hope you enjoy the chapter:D :D :D

I-am-a-psychotic-bunny- More insanity, coming your way. And you may have your dead bird now. With extra blood and guts too!

Disclaimer/Warnings: Blah, blah, blah, don't own, blah, blah, blah, cursing and sexual reference. Now read unless you want to join the birds.

---

I stood facing the man who had locked me in the room. This was He?

"XII, you may leave," the adult more ordered from his grand chair behind his desk than suggested. Larxene merely nodded and left. I instantly felt ten times more uncomfortable.

"Now, XIII. I would explain everything to you, however, it seems as if _someone else_ has already done that." A portal materialized out of nowhere and Namine stumbled out, falling on the ground. She groaned and got up on all fours. Catching sight of me, she smiled.

"Roxas! I-"

"Please, spare me," He spat at us as I ran over to help her up.

"Xehanort…" Namine said under her breath.

He suddenly stood and struck her across the face. "Don't call me that!" he shouted, infuriated. I hugged my friend protectively.

"Now, Namine has been testing you by sending you on those adventures with the Nobodies and I had already known that your powers were very well-developed, although you hadn't even known you could access them before. However, I wanted to test your smarts, see if you were able to figure out you could use the keyblade to open the door to the room you were trapped in. Your companion here ruined all of that, foolishly disobeyed direct orders. I do not believe that she is very trustworthy anymore."

Namine got down on her knees and bowed on the floor. "No! No! I am trustworthy! I promise you, I'll make it up! Please forgive me!" I could see some tears seeping out of her eyes.

Xehanort laughed cruelly. "Why should I? You were only ever a witch, after all."

"No! Please! Please!" She started sobbing loudly and he kicked her so hard it caused her to go skidding across the floor, colliding with a wall.

"Stop that!" I commanded. I was so angry I could feel the keyblade appear in my clenched fist.

Xehanort looked at me with an unreadable expression, which soon turned to annoyance.

"And what, may I ask, gives _you _the right to boss me around?" He took a step closer to me, but held my ground, planting my feet firmly on the wood below me. "You need to learn some respect." Another step. "And I happen to know an excellent way to teach it." He was so close to me I could feel his breath on my forehead as he leaned down a bit. He raised his hand up and I prepared myself to block it, but the attack never came.

Namine shrieked in pain, as the same dark substance the portal was made out of wrapped around her. She thrashed about violently, trying to rid herself of the material.

I finally came to my senses and dashed over to aid her. "Get that stuff off of her!" I cried, frantically clawing at the darkness. To my horror, it began crawling up my arm like a snake. I screamed and retreated several feet. The blackness lost its grip and died out, as I got further away.

Namine screeched again and some blood emerged from her mouth. Her struggle was weaker; she was growing tired. The substance sunk into her skin and she let out an earsplitting yell. It was so loud, and then so quiet. So quiet as her breath ran out with a croak and her head slammed down on the ground. So quiet as her body turned into an ink-like gas and disappeared into nothing. So quiet as she died.

"Namine. Namine! NAMINE! What did you do to her? Where is she?" I swiveled to face Xehanort.

"Why, she's faded back into darkness of course. Where she came from and where she will end up. I've no use for her any longer."

I couldn't hold my rage in anymore. I strode up to the silver-haired man and punched him with all my might. His head rotated to the side from the impact, but I could hear him chuckling at me. He reached for my wrists and held them tightly.

"Now, now. No need to get so upset over a simple tool." He squeezed my wrists tighter and tighter until a sickening crack was heard. I screamed and kicked him in the gut to free myself.

I dashed to the door, only to find it was locked. I heard more laughter from behind me and I rotated the doorknob frantically. I gave up and banged my fists against the door, but soon had to stop, as my hands were leaking crimson and my wrists were aching.

"It's useless. No one dares to defy me by helping you. Well, no one besides that witch, but she's gone now. Stupid girl, always trying to aid you. It's a good thing I'm rid of her. She was getting to be quite an annoyance." Xehanort lifted me up by the front of my close and held me against the wall so we were eye-to-eye. "No one, absolutely no one, will hear of this, do you understand." I nodded. "You will obey my orders no matter what or else, well…" He gestured with his free hands towards the place Namine's body once laid. "You may leave."

I had scrambled out the door the second he put me down and opened it. I crashed into Demyx in my hysterical escape.

"Owie! What're you in such a hurry for Roxy-woxy-poxy-noxy-loxy-foxy?"

"Namine…"

"Nami-who? What's wrong with your wrists? Oh! That looks painful. We'll get Marly-warly-parly-narly-larly-farly to fix it up. Still, we should tell Axy-waxy-paxy-naxy-laxy-faxy and Zexy-wexy-pexy-nexy-lexy-fexy and Larxy-warxy-parxy-narxy-larxy-farxy. I'm sure they'd all want to know. Hey, do you know where Axy-waxy-paxy-naxy-laxy-faxy hid my sitar? I'd sic Zexy-wexy-pexy-lexy-fexy on him, but he might end up emotionally scarred again. My Zexy-wexy-pexy-lexy-fexy is an evil thing, an evil thing indeed."

"Demyx…"

And there I was, bawling into some guy I had just met that morning's lap.

"What's wrong? Should I get Axy-waxy-paxy-"

"No!" I choked out between sobs.

"Well, okay then."

We must have stayed like that for some time for after I had at last quieted down, I heard Larxene calling for us to get our lazy asses to the dinner table.

"We should go. Larlarita isn't pretty when she's angry."

For a moment, I speculated how the hyperactive blond created so many nicknames. He must have changed them every hour or two. I might have laughed, had my best friend not just passed away.

Dinner was unexciting, save for the small part where Axel somehow convinced Demyx he was a fish and the blue-eyed man ran out of the room to stick his head in the nearest toilet. Zexion rescued him before he did so, and dinner was back to its previous dreary state.

After the meal, I had Marluxia heal my wounds, to avoid commotion. I made him promise to keep quiet about the matter and retreated to the room that had hastily been put together for me. The only thing I feared was that Demyx would slip and tell someone about my fit in the hallway, however, no questions were asked at dinner.

I hadn't been able to get any sleep, Namine's death haunting my thoughts. I spent the night staring at a spot on the wall where some of the paint was chipping.

Axel had made another attempt to embarrass me the following morning by offering to feed me mouth-to-mouth when he saw I wasn't eating. His expression was shocked when I gave him a nasty glare and snapped at Demyx as he tried to defend Axel. This left Zexion pissed off at me, in addition to the two other men. I exited the kitchen as soon as possible, unable to be around any of them anymore.

Later in the day, Larxene knocked on my door, inviting me to a picnic they were having for lunch. I told her I'd stay in my room and ignored her comment of me acting like a PMSing bitch. I had a feeling she was already slightly aggravated by my actions at breakfast.

By dinnertime, my stomach was growling in protest at my determination to evade all human contact by means of skipping meals. Axel was the one who came that time, yelling about how I had no reason to be so distant. I did. Would he rather have me living in my room for all of eternity or biting his and everyone else's heads off?

I suffered through another restless night by scratching out a drawing of Axel's face on the wall where the paint was coming off. It really was an awful shame I had no way of adding in his wonderful eye color.

I had no choice but to snatch some food the next morning unless I wanted to die, all alone in that cramped room. I set off early, maybe three or four, so I wouldn't need to offer some made up explanation for my behavior. Unfortunately, either Zexion had decided to follow my lead, or he wanted to talk with me. To my dismay, it was the latter.

"So, are you going to talk, or will I have to 'convince' you?" he threatened. He looked quite intimidating in the oddly dramatic lighting. Who bothered to have dramatic lighting in a kitchen?

"I'm not feeling well," I lied. "Why are you here? Don't tell me you stayed up all night just to have this measly chat with me."

"Demyx was crying all day yesterday, all because you were mean to him," Zexion notified me.

"Oh come on. That guy's the kind who would cry for hours on end if he dropped his ice cream on the ground."

"You've crossed a line, Roxas. Quit being moody; it's pissing me off and making everyone else upset. Don't be so selfish all the time." He swiftly glided out of the room before I could make a comeback.

"I'm not being selfish," I responded lamely to the empty room, even though I knew there was no use lying if no one was there to get tricked beside myself.

I found myself going over those words in my heads thousands of times as nibbled on the bread I had obtained. I put the barely eaten food in my lap; I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

Zexion came as the sun began to rise and reminded me of our conversation. I rested the bread I had finally decided to eat back in my lap as my hunger once again disappeared.

Approximately an hour later came Demyx, apologizing for whatever he had done wrong, and begging for a way he could make it up to me. I remained silent throughout the whole plead for forgiveness, thinking over Zexion's words. Had he really been that saddened? Was I really selfish enough to vent my anguish over Namine's death on the only people left who cared for me?

As I listened to his retreating footsteps, I wanted to run after him and apologize as sincerely as he had a short time ago. What keeping me from doing it? I felt like a complete and total asshole for making him upset, and I wouldn't even do anything about it.

Axel scolded me some more around lunchtime. He sounded as ticked off as Zexion, if not more. At the end, by the time his voice was hoarse from yelling and he had stopped pounding his hands on my door out of pain, he mentioned something about making it up to me if it was his fault too.

It seemed as if everyone had given up by dinner. I clutched onto my bread, squishing it into all sorts of shape, but never getting to motivation to actually consume it. I had scratched out a picture of Zexion beside Axel's. I felt more and more sickened with myself every time I'd accidentally glance at it or catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye.

Although I was eluding hunger fairly effectively, thirst was a different story. I was in desperate need of some water so the next morning I set off on my quest, crossing my fingers through the whole trip.

Thankfully, Zexion wasn't in sight as I peeked in the kitchen, however, another figure had replaced the stoic man. A red-haired, green-eyed figure.

"Axel," I muttered under my breath. Had Zexion told him of our last meeting?

"Long time no see," Axel said. How had he noticed me? I was hidden behind the door.

"H-hi," I greeted weakly and stepped out from the shadows into… more shadows. There was no source of light in the kitchen aside from the great, glowing moon shining through the large window that occupied a good amount of space on the wall. For some reason, it was ten times harder to talk to Axel than Zexion.

"Care to offer an explanation?" he continued testily.

"I'm not feeling too well," I replied as I got a glass of water to distract my attention from his eyes, which shimmered as majestically as the moon.

"I doubt that," he persisted. Either I wasn't a very good liar, or Axel was a whole lot better at reading my motions than I thought. Zexion was skilled in that area also…

"Well, that's too bad 'cause it's the truth." I stared at the gleaming reflection of the moon on surface of my water rather than drinking it.

"Quit being a bitch; you're stealing Larxene's job." Oh Axel. He would make a joke even on his deathbed. "Please. Can't you just tell me what's wrong?" His tone was more exasperated this time.

"I… I can't. I want to, but I cant, okay? Just leave me alone." Ripples spread around the top of the water as one of my tears dropped into the clear liquid.

"There's just no winning with you, is there?" That wasn't Axel's voice. That was…

"Zexion?" I spun around and sure enough, there he was, twirling a gray lock between delicate fingers. "How on Earth did you… What did… Huh?"

"I'll make a deal. I'll tell you how I knew you were there before you made yourself visible and how I made myself look like Axel, but only if you stop moping around because of Namine's death. You're worse than Demyx when I deny him his ice cream combined with a Larxene on her period. And that's _bad_. Once she bit me, you know, and I started bleeding too…"

"Wait! How did you know Namine's dead? Xehanort and I were the only people there."

I witnessed the rare experience of Zexion laughing. It wasn't full and deep, more of a dignified chuckle, but he was laughing at me nonetheless.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"Hush now. You wouldn't want Demyx bursting in here, claiming that the monsters under his bed have migrated to the kitchen, would you? I can assure you it's far from pleasant…"

How he could say it with a straight face was beyond me, but there were more important matters at the moment.

"How did you know I was hiding behind the door and how did you transform into Axel? And how did you know about Namine too?" I kept my voice lower and tried to control my very short temper, seeing as Demyx bounding around like he just had ten pounds of sugar (basically, the way he always acted) just might destroy the serious atmosphere.

"Roxas, member XIII, master of the keyblade," he replied randomly.

"What does that have to do with any of that stuff? I don't care about the keyblade shit. Well, I do, but I want to know about you more!" I covered my mouth with my hands once I realized I was raising my voice. I thought I heard a creak from above.

"Roxas, your temper will one day be your downfall. I'm just stating your power. You're the keyblade master and whatnot. You know that Axel has his whole fire thing going on from breakfast, I presume. Well, my power is manipulation of the mind. Other than that, I can recognize people by their scent and know when a person I've met dies, when their scent fades out. I made myself look like Axel in your eyes. Anyway, you need to get your mind off of Namine already. I know you two were close, but everyone dies in the end."

I thought I saw a bit of sadness on his face at that part, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

"So you mean I should forget about her?" I retorted angrily.

"No. I didn't say that. I said to get your mind off of her. There are other things in life you need to focus on. I won't preach to you any longer, but I think it's more productive to concentrate on the people you can actually save."

I lifted my glass to my lips, breaking the reflection on its surface and took a long sip as Zexion vanished into the darkness of the hall.

---

I lifted my hand up to the door for the sixth time and lowered it, gnawing on my lip. With a whispered, "This time for sure," I repeated the action. I leaned my head on the door. This was more difficult than I had originally thought it would be.

"You know what it's pretty early and I don't want to wake him, but…" I had to do it quickly, before someone walked in on me talking to a mixture of my hand, the door, and myself. "No. I won't back down. Seriously, it's only Demyx. The worst thing that could happen is he could decide that he hates my guts with such a burning passion he knocks me unconscious so he can take me to the Himalayas in order to throw me off the peak of Mt. Everest…hm. That's not a very comforting thought. But I'll do it anyway. I bet Axel or Zexion will stop him before he gets to the airport! Unless they're still mad at me… Well, Zexion's gotten over it now hasn't he?"

"You're procrastinating!" cried the little voice of truth in the back of my head.

"Shut up. Just shut up. I'll do it. Look, here we go." I was about to knock on the door, but I heard music from inside the room. The gentle strumming of a sitar's strings and a man's voice.

"The settings will change with the time of day and the lights will turn and I will turn into something new, if that's okay with you, if that's okay with you."

I sat down and pressed my ear to the door to hear the song better. The melody was beautiful along with the lyrics. It was soothing to hear the peaceful tune drifting into my ears.

"We all have ourselves wrapped around something we can't do anything about. 'Cause I know it was worth the wait. You were so close I almost got away."

I swayed my body back and forth to the steady beat I had missed.

"We started on a brand new chapter of what belongs from here and here on after. The time, it was so miserable, but built up well and became so full of, became so full of.

"We all have ourselves wrapped around something we can't do anything about. 'Cause I know it was worth the wait. You were so close I almost got away."

Maybe I wasn't the only one enduring sleepless nights.

"We found some stupid way of dealing with it, like a cigarette, call to a friend. Or finding a replacement, there are no replacements, but also no regrets."

I joined in softly on the last chorus.

"We all have ourselves wrapped around something we cant do anything about. 'Cause I know it was worth the wait. You were so close I almost got away."

The strumming morphed into picking and soon that died down, leaving silence. I missed the constant sound of music.

This time I succeeded in my task on knocking on the door.

"Zexion, is that you?" Demyx called in a more solemn voice than his usual bubbly tone.

"No. It's me, Roxas. I… I wanted to apologize. I've been really horrible to you for no reason. I'm sorry I snapped at you and ignored you. I just hope you can forgive me."

"Forgive you? Of course!" The door swung open. "I was just afraid of your mood all being my fault. I'm so relieved that you were just being moody." His hyper aura was back and a giant grin spread across his face. "Want to come in and have a sleepover?"

"Thanks, but no thanks, Demyx. I need to speak to a couple more people. I'll see you at breakfast." I waved goodbye to him and made my way to Axel's room.

I gathered up all of my courage and firmly rapped on his door.

"Who's there?" Axel asked.

I supposed the insomnia was contagious.

"It's me. Can I come in?" I said.

"Depends. Are you still on asshole mode? 'Cause I'm not gonna deal with that, 'specially at this time of night," he answered.

"Listen, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being so stupid. I was a bit upset and I ended up using everyone as an outlet. I'm over it, though."

"What happened?" he inquired with a hint of rage in his voice. "What happened that was so terrible you had to act like that and hurt everyone?"

"'I can't tell you that part."

The door burst open. "Why? I was so worried about you, and you won't even bother to tell me what the hell is wrong? I can't believe this!" He stuck out his left hand and placed it on the doorframe. Not knowing what else to do, I wrapped my arms around his waist. He didn't hug me back.

"Go away," he said in a cold voice after a couple minutes of the empty hug.

Without replying, I let go and walked back to my room. Sorry just didn't make it sometimes. The damage had been done.

---

Axel was definitely the angriest of all of the order members. Xehanort was nowhere to be seen, Xigbar, Vexen, Lexaeus, Saix, and Luxord seemed completely unfazed by the entire incident, Demyx and Zexion had forgiven me, Xaldin was still off on whatever mission he had, and Larxene and Marluxia were just a tiny bit ticked off at me for causing such a ruckus.

"Hey X, do you know if I'm going on that mission with you? I've heard that another members going, but I just want to hear it from you." I was eavesdropping on Lexaeus and Luxord's conversation, which was a lot better than having a glaring contest with Axel.

"I still haven't checked in with Him on it. I think it's going to IV if not you."

Lexaeus chortled at him a bit and said, "Good luck dealing with his rants on whatever new potions he's created. Last time I went on a mission with him, I was taking ibuprofen for a week after."

"Don't laugh. It also might XIII. I could get to be the first one to see him in action."

"You shouldn't give yourself false hope. I think He thinks that XIII needs more time to train before he actually goes out on a mission."

"Hey, you never know."

I tuned them out and focused on twiddling my thumbs. I never got a chance to ask what you did on missions.

"You do all sorts of things, but mainly try to put an end Maleficent," Zexion told me.

"What?"

"On missions. That's what you do. I thought you might like to know, considering that you've never asked and you'll probably be going on some soon," he explained.

"Oh. Who's Maleficent and why do we have to put an end to him?"

"It's a her, just so you know, and we have to put an end to her because we need control over a certain power she has," he said.

"What power?" I asked.

"No idea. The only ones who do know are II, V, and VII, and there would be a great price to pay if they told, so they keep their mouths shut."

"Hm…"

I looked towards the three people, the ones I trusted the least, incidentally. Zexion was staring at them in deep thought too.

"Well, see you," he stated with a final narrowing of his eyes. "Axel, can we talk?"

"Okay."

They left the room together and I distractedly observed a game of Crazy Eights between Luxord and Lexaeus. Luxord was cheating by peeking at the other man's cards from the reflection on the window.

"Good morning Rox-wox-chicken-pox!" Demyx cheerfully greeted.

"Mornin'" I replied monotonously as Lexaeus laid down the eight of clubs and changed to suit to hearts.

"You look sad," he remarked and pursed his lips when he noticed Luxord cheating. "You're not gonna be mean to everyone again, are you?"

"No, no. It's just that Axel's still pissed at me." Luxord put down a four of diamonds on Lexaeus' four of hearts and the redhead drew some cards from the deck.

"You should get him an apology gift!" the blond suggested.

"I don't know what he likes," I sighed and took my eyes off the game.

"Doesn't matter. You can get him anything, as long as you prove that you're truly sorry. You could get a key chain, key chains are nice…"

"There's also the problem that I have no money," I pointed out.

Demyx waited a bit before answering, frowning at Luxord's shameless duping. "I have an idea. You could join my band!" He turned back to me, beaming once more.

"Band? You have a band?"

"Yep! Problem is, I'm the only member, except for when Zexy feels like playing drums. He completely set against singing, though. I don't know why; his voice is really nice. Anyway, you could sing, I could play sitar, and we could nudge Mr. I'm Too Cool For Singing to play drums, and we could have a gig in no time! We'll split the money. Sound good?"

"So long as I'm not doing the math, I'm fine with it." I supposed an apology gift would show that I cared.

"Good! I'll teach you some of our songs then!"

He grabbed my arm and raced up to his room in record room.

---

Psychoticbunny: 4,400 words! The chapter's about 4,400 words excluding the author's note! Right. Anyway, the song is not mine. It's by Blondes Pass Out and the name is We All Have Ourselves. Psychoticbunny, out!


	16. Chapter 16

Psychoticbunny: Yeah. Remember when I said that I would finish this fanfic over summer? Hahaha. Good times. Good times.

Roxas: You slacker. You spent this whole time procrastinating doing homework and hanging out with your friends.

Psychoticbunny: I'm sorry! I had to work on a recording my friend and I made of our song, then my other friend had a barbecue, and then my dad forced me to play a computer game with him. (Shouldn't he be the one complaining that he doesn't have the time for games?) On top of that, I've started watching Bleach! Ahhh! I better do the review replies before I explode.

Cherry- It's like, hey, there she goes. Again. Hope she _stays _dead this time.

AkuRokuGrl- Thanks! My favorite characters are Roxas and Riku too! I actually have two other fics that are shounen-ai if you want to check them out, but they're Soriku. And I'm a girl, just so you know. But a whatever fits nicely too.

Disclaimer/Warnings: Don't own. Cursing. Sexual reference. Lazy author. Now read, you lazy bum, or you'll turn into me!

---

To think that I week ago, I wasn't even aware that Demyx's band existed.

"I didn't know there were going to be _this_ many people!" I whispered in distress to Demyx, who was innocently tuning his sitar. Zexion was in the corner, glaring at the drum set that awaited him on the stage. It turned out Larxene played the keyboard so she had joined us and was currently ogling the huge crowd of people who had shown up at the show.

"Yeah, well, the band after us is really- and I mean _really_- popular. But don't worry about it. You'll do fine. You sound really great. Anyway, I figure that this is the best way for us to get recognized," he told me.

Zexion made a grunt from his corner, muttering something about not wanting to be recognized.

The past week had flown by, between learning the songs and rigorous training with numerous nobodies of all shapes and sizes. Before I knew it, we were performing as an opening for some band no one could name, yet worshipped endlessly anyway.

I went back to gaping at all of the people. They were basically a bunch of excited teenagers, some adults accompanying them. Most of the girls were mostly wearing skimpy shirts uncovering their midsection and mini-skirts, which flopped up and down and they jumped and screamed. The guys mainly wore t-shirts and jeans, though you would occasionally come across an original sweatshirt or sweatpants. I stared a bit at a girl with bright blue hair in a ridiculous dress that looked like she jumped into the Disney movie of Beauty and the Beast, stole Bell's yellow dress, and died it a hot pink color. I made a mental note not to look anywhere in that direction when we were on stage, less the frills and bloated skirt got to me.

A casually dressed man jogged over to Demyx and told him something too quiet for me to catch, but I needn't have, for a moment later he announced it.

"We're going on now."

I swallowed the lump of nervousness in my throat. It was time to throw my worries into the wind, time to march onto that stage, time to- holy crap, is that Axel?

My burst of confidence quickly deflated as I confirmed it was indeed Axel shooting glares at some chick who was shrieking insanely next to him.

"Roxas, get your ass on stage!" Larxene would have chirped joyfully, if it were opposite day, that is.

I reluctantly kicked my legs into action and strut mechanically onto the platform we were performing on. I found that I had led myself to the center microphone. Zexion had taken his place at the drum set, Demyx had his fingers positioned in the first chord he would play, Larxene had placed her hands over the keyboard, the crowd amazingly had managed to become even louder, and everyone was ready to rock out for the rest of the night. Everyone except me.

"Introduce us," Larxene reminded me from between her teeth.

"I… uh…"

I never guessed on the day of Hayner and my uncomfortable meeting with Larxene that a couple of months later I would have been standing in front of hundreds of people with her half-glaring at me, half-smiling at the audience.

"Uh…"

Wow. Uh. It really was astounding that I could come up with such a witty and creative comment.

My eyes were glued on Axel. He was spacing off, but then turned his head so we locked eyes. It seemed like time had frozen. Everyone disappeared and we were the only two humans left. He was smirking. It was a challenge smirk. I accepted.

"And now introducing your opening act!" I exclaimed. "Good evening California! We are Nonexistent!"

---

After my scene with Axel, the rest of the concert went well. I only made one mistake as we played We All Have Ourselves and the main performance was exceptional. Our band even got to meet the popular group and all the members were very kind, despite their lack of names. Demyx, Larxene, and Zexion had brushed off my odd behavior on stage; Demyx was scowling at a girl flirting with Zexion (although it came out more like a pout) while Larxene packed everything us, quietly complaining to herself about how the rest of us were lazy, useless, bums.

I had taken up Zexion's previous hideout in the corner and observed everything and everyone in a lax fashion. Truthfully, I was relieved the whole thing was over. I wanted to get my money and rush out to the nearest store so I could get Axel his apology gift already. However, did he forgive me and was showing it by turning up? There was always the possibility he was waiting for me outside.

Demyx tore the female off his boyfriend and held onto him possessively, as if to say, "Back off, he's mine!" He stuffed twenty-five dollars into my hand as he mumbled something about payment and sluts burning in Hell. I disregarded the last part, hoping it wasn't directed at me and focused all my attention on the money.

I ran down the stairs leading outside to meet up with Axel. I could spot that red hair of his a mile away so I didn't have any trouble finding him. Luckily, he was only a couple of feet away, and not a mile. Sure I liked Axel, but traveling a mile for the guy was another story…

"Axel!" I called.

His hair swished around as his swung his head around to find the source of the voice. I pushed my way through a large and now disgruntled group of adolescents to reach him.

"Axel!" I said again, softer now that I was right behind him.

He spun around and jumped.

"Damn, Roxas. You really know how to give a guy a heart attack." I held back a remark about my first time eating breakfast at the orphanage.

"Yeah, well, I… I wanted to tell you I'm sorry… and… and…"

I mentally slapped myself as I realized I hadn't gotten him an apology gift during my trip to unite us. What to do, what to do? Why, improvise, of course.

"Uh… well… here!" I shoved the money I still grasped into his hand. "It's… well… I wanted to get you an apology gift, but I didn't know what you like and stuff so here. It's money. You can use it to buy, you know, stuff."

Why did I decide to improvise again? It's money? No shit, Sherlock. And what were you _supposed_ to do with it besides buy "stuff?" This is excluding the movies with rich people bathing in all of their wealth.

"Thanks Roxas, but you can keep it."

"Okay," I muttered as I took it back.

We stood together in silence for a moment. The babble of the crowd died down as it began to get on the late side.

"I guess you should be getting back to Demyx and the others," he informed me. "They'll be worried if you disappear for a long time."

He turned and walked only a couple of steps before I ran after him and grabbed onto his hand.

"Um… wait. I just want to know if you've forgiven me or not."

"Don't worry about stupid things like that, Roxas. Of course I forgive you. You didn't need to get me anything. I was being an idiot, is all. I'm sorry."

He slipped his hand away from mine and dissolved into a swarm of males dressed in suits.

"Roxas! Where the hell did you go? You can't just run off and stare out into space while we panic!" Larxene scolded from behind me.

As I rotated, I spotted my three other band mates. Larxene had her arms folded over each other and was peering at me crossly, but she, Demyx, and Zexion were all looking relieved.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to get you guys worried," I told her.

"What were you doing here anyway?" Demyx asked.

"I was… I was just standing here." I gazed off in the direction Axel had left. "We should get home."

"Yeah. I'm tired," Demyx whined.

"The sooner we get out of here, the better," Zexion said with an annoyed look as Demyx leaned on him like he was a pole rather than a person. Larxene smirked at him and he glared back before dragging Demyx along with him to the back of the stage, which was surprisingly dignified.

---

Everything was back to normal by breakfast the next morning. Well, as normal as things could be when you were living in a fake orphanage with twelve other people who didn't actually exist and happened to possess abilities that no human being should.

I watched Axel crunch on his black cereal. He had decided that if bagels could be toasted, so could cereal. He was wrong. I was partly amazed and partly disgusted with him being able to eat the clusters with a bit of smoke still withering away in the air. The milk was a gray color, but Axel guzzled it down nonetheless.

"YES!" Demyx suddenly screamed. He stood up and punched the air. Zexion looked at him like he had been replaced by some alien creature from Mars.

"We got another gig!" he announced.

"Oh god," Zexion groaned.

"C'mon Zexy! It'll be fun!"

He let out a grunt in return; apparently the statement wasn't important to be replied to with actual words.

"I guess it wouldn't be _that _bad…" Larxene murmured between sips of her orange juice.

I was too busy getting lost in my fantasy of singing in front of millions of people with Axel cheering me on to notice Demyx calling my name several times until Zexion came over and slapped me.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, raising a hand to my cheek. I glared at Axel, chuckling slightly at the sight, who immediately stuffed an absurd amount of burnt cereal into his mouth so it puffed out like a squirrel's full of acorns. He gave me a less than charming smile.

"I'm gonna go tie Saix-matrix's hair into knots now!" Demyx declared. He charged out of the room, followed by a troubled look from Zexion.

"That guy needs to lower his intake of sugar," Larxene commented.

"He didn't have any sugar today," Zexion informed her and then jogged over to help her once she began choking on her juice.

"Ga's kia fweaky," Axel said with plenty of cereal still in his mouth.

"Schuw ish," Larxene mocked, having made a full recovery.

Axel took a painful-looking swallow and gasped out, "Oh shut up!"

"Would you lower the volume?" Xigbar asked grumpily as Luxord messed around with the cards in the game they were playing while his back was turned.

"If you can't handle the noise, then leave, gramps," Axel retorted.

"Ungrateful, lousy, little brat," he said, turning back to an innocently grinning Luxord. He looked suspicious, but let it slide off.

Axel stuck his tongue out as soon as he was sure Xigbar wasn't looking. I rolled my eyes with Zexion and Larxene at the same time. Hm. Synchronized rolling of eyes. Was this a bad sign?

"XIII."

It was Xehanort. The light and happy tone in the room died down instantly. An eerie silence fell over the kitchen.

"Are you ready for your first mission?"

---

Psychoticbunny: Okay. I'm sorry it's so short, but I don't feel like screwing up the story more. I'm also ashamed that I basically mooched off Gravi for the scene at the concert! T-T I'm just gonna go die now. Goodbye! Reviewers get pieces of my corpse! (these prizes get worse by the chapter)


	17. Chapter 17

Psychoticbunny: Sorry about the long wait. My teachers loaded me with homework. I didn't even finish all of it! But at least I got the chapter out. Now I have to update my other fic too. Maybe I should put one on hiatus. Anyway, review replies!

Cherry- Haha thx. I'm sure Saix loves all of the "attention" I've made people give to his hair. I hope you like this chapter.

Disclaimer/Warnings: Ajdijfaiueirjmwierolasjne8rlfjdaiea. Real words are for n00bs! XD Sry. Anyway, read the chapter and that odd sequence of letters meant that I don't own anything. And by the way, Roxas is NOT pregnant. (I would have put 'not' in italics, but I'm too lazy to click on the italics key.)

---

"Who are we capturing again?" I asked Axel.

"I told you, you'll find out soon," he replied.

I let out a disgruntled noise and settled on glaring at the back of Axel's head. How was I going to capture someone if I didn't know whom he or she was? And more importantly…

"Okay. Will you at least remind me of why we're wearing black clothes if we're hiding in a well-lit pet shop?"

"Um… don't ask questions. We have to focus."

Focus on what? Oh, that's right. I didn't know because a certain redhead decided on keeping all of the information on the mission all to himself. I might as well choose some random person and attack.

The tiny silver bell jingled pleasantly to signify the entrance of a new costumer. I was unable to spot whoever had come in for Axel had inconveniently positioned himself right in front of me.

"There she is."

I peered over Axel shoulder. It took the guy long enough.

I gasped in surprise.

"That's-"

Axel placed a gloved hand over my hand. I cringed in disgust as some of the leathery fabric made it's way into my mouth. I preferred sandwiches.

"Yep, there's our target," he said, pointing towards a girl with bright blue eyes.

"Kairi? Kairi's our target?"

I looked at my ex-friend as she followed the owner of the store to the counter, and moved behind a stand with 'Christopher's Crazy Cat Food. You're cat will go crazy over this delicious mix of all the nutrients they need.'

Axel glared at me and motioned for me to go back, but I remained in that spot. He looked around anxiously and then stealthily dashed over to me.

"What the hell are you doing, Roxas?"

Kairi raised a brown cat onto the counter and began discussing something, although I couldn't hear what from that distance.

Wait. I knew that cat. Olette! They were going to make Olette a little psycho-kitty by feeding her Christopher's Crazy Cat Food!

"Axel, you see that cat they have?"

"And we really need to- what? Yeah, o' course I do."

"We need to save her! That's my cat! That's my Olette and I can't just let them corrupt her!" I whispered harshly.

"Calm down. Don't wet yourself. And we're obviously going to bring her back; she's the target."

"Yeah but- wait. _She's_ the target? I thought _Kairi _was the target," I told him.

"Kairi? What on earth would we do with Kairi? Hold her hostage? No, the cat's much more important than her," he explained.

"Um…"

"Yes?"

"Isn't… never mind."

I hoped no maniac came barging in with a gun and forced us to choose between Kairi or Olette's lives.

"Now's our chance," Axel notified me when Kairi and the owner left to inspect a brand of cat food that thankfully did _not _have any hints of insanity in the name.

We began to close in when clumps of dark matter appeared in the air.

"Shit," Axel breathed from beside me.

"What are those?"

I continued to move forward, but was pulled back by Axel almost choking me with my cloak.

"Hold up. Those are beings called Heartless. They go around collecting hearts and just gobble them up. What a waste…" He narrowed his eyebrows at small black figures swarming around my cat.

"Heartless? That doesn't sound too good. They aren't going to attack her, are they? We need to fight them!"

Kairi and the owner of the store wilding swung their heads around to find the source of my voice. For a moment, the two females stared at Olette in confusion, but then went back to the cat food. Axel gave me an angry look and pressed his finger to his lips.

"Sorry," I whispered. "Wait. How come they didn't see the Heartless?"

"They're only visible to people with, well, 'abilities' such as ours."

"Okay. So how do we get rid of them?"

"Distraction. I'll do it. Just don't get too hotheaded, 'kay? Keep cool and everything will be fine."

I gave a short nod and fixed my attention back on the Heartless. They were odd little creatures, a bit frightening too. Their antennae twitched every so often as they ran them over everything in sight. The big, bulging yellow eyes were more unnerving, though, I noted as the unnatural orbs fervently darted back and forth.

I felt Axel shift and get up. The Heartless swiveled their heads from the various places they were inspecting to face him. I let out a gasp as they sunk into the floor and glided towards us.

Axel nudged me with his leg to signal for me to get moving. I raised my body and snuck around the cat food stand, making sure that no Heartless would see me and rushed to the spot Olette was licking her paw contentedly. I continuously glanced at Kairi and the storeowner all the time while carefully easing the cat into my arms. I cautiously retreated to the point where Axel was silently dodging the Heartless's attacks.

Olette began to fidget when she saw this incident. She swiped at my arm, leaving little scratches leaking crimson and growling.

"Hush," I murmured. With the rate it was going at, we would attract some unwanted attention, whether it would have been from me screaming from the pain or Olette's snarling rising in volume with each passing second. Luckily, neither of them happened. _Un_luckily, Axel chose that moment to back into Christopher's Crazy Cat Food stand. Several cans were knocked over, making huge clunking sounds. I never knew bowling balls counted as 'nutrition.'

Even though the storeowner and Kairi couldn't see the Heartless, they sure as hell could see us.

"Who are you and what are you doing with that cat?" the storeowner demanded. Kairi was staring at us with fear on her face. She seemed to be too disturbed for speech.

"Come on Roxas," Axel said. He opened a portal and tugged by my hood to get me to follow him through.

"Wait!" Kairi exclaimed, finding her voice. "What are those black things? What's that weird swirly thing? Who are you? You look familiar, like an old friend almost…"

"Roxas, let's go!"

This time Axel physically pulled me through. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay with Kairi, and tell her everything. I missed the real world. Even though my life was never that great, I couldn't deny that I missed that feeling of the years passing. Sitting in the orphanage all day and night felt like being trapped in a cage compared to how I used to live.

"R-r-r… what was it…" Kairi muttered as I just gaped.

I could feel the portal enveloping my body and dimly register that Olette was struggling with all her might, but right now I wanted, _needed _for Kairi to remember my name. I didn't want to be some lost memory. I was a person!

"Sora?"

Black.

---

I awoke to the sound of angered voices. I felt horrible. What happened?

I sat up and emptied my stomach on the floor. I clutched my head out of dizziness. The voices from above seemed ten times louder than they should have been. My head pounded agonizingly. I let out a groan.

I stood up, ignoring my body's protests, and stumbled to the door. That was as far as I went; I collapsed onto the floor.

I felt some tears on my face from the unbearable heat my body was. It was as if someone had lit me on fire.

I propped myself up on my back so I could get a good look at the room. It wasn't mine, that was for sure. I couldn't see my carvings in the wall and there was more furniture, including a desk and a comfy-looking chair.

My vision split as heat shot through my head. I lifted a hand up to feel my forehead, but there was a problem. It wasn't my hand. I passed out again.

---

I regained consciousness in what looked like a blank piece of paper. The burning feeling was gone. I stood up and observed my surroundings. It was all very… white, stretching out in every direction, even under my feet.

"H-hello? Hello! Is anyone here?" I called. My voice echoed a bit before dying out. "Hello! Anyone?"

Not knowing what else to do, I set off in one course, hoping that I would be able to find someone who could help me.

I could have walked for only a couple of minutes or maybe hours, but no matter how far I got, all I could find was white. I was getting pretty frustrated. It was probably from a combination my lack of progress and my stomach.

"I could sure do with an apple right now," I muttered with a hand on my rumbling abdomen.

Then, to my surprise, I saw something other than white. A black dot appeared in the middle of the air. It began to move so it made an apple shape. Then it dropped down into my hand, a real apple. It was red and shiny, and my mouth started to water at the sight.

I mentally slapped myself for getting so distracted by a piece of fruit. I needed to find out where that had come from. I wildly looked around for the source of the mysterious black line, but the place the apple had come from turned back to white.

I lifted the apple to my nose and sniffed it skeptically. It wouldn't have killed me to have a bite, would it?

I hesitatingly opened my mouth, praying that I wouldn't faint for the third time that day. My mouth inched closer and closer until I finally sunk my teeth into the sweet food.

It was the best apple I had ever tasted. I barely noticed the sticky juice running down my neck I was so involved in the flavor.

"A scattered memory like a far-off dream. A far-off dream like a scattered memory. I want to line the pieces up…"

I took another bite.

"The keyblade is able to hold phenomenal power…"

I chewed slowly, savoring the feeling of the sugary wetness on my lips.

Utter silence.

The apple fell to the ground with a thunk. I couldn't support my own weight. I swayed on the spot, probably looking drunk to any onlooker.

I was falling. Where? Everything was the same. There were people in the distance.

"…heart returning… Namine might be… awakening… if we could only… Sora can't… Roxas is just a memory… Kingdom Hearts…"

My feet were disappearing. My whole being was. Tiny shreds of darkness floated up like black rose petals.

"No! No, stop! No! I'm not just a memory! I'm a person! I exist, I do! I really do! I don't want to be forgotten! No!"

---

"It's okay, Roxas. Shh."

I cracked my eyes opened. Axel was hunched over me with Zexion, Larxene, Demyx, and Marluxia behind him.

I groaned before speaking. "What happened?"

"That's our line," Zexion replied.

"Tch. It was just a bad dream. How did I get here?" I asked.

"You passed out so I carried you back here, to Larxene's room. Um… well, you're the leader Zexy," Axel answered.

"Lazy… whatever. So Roxas, you obviously are aware that Organization XIII's leader is Xemnas, am I correct?" Zexion slapped Axel as he let out little giggles.

I nodded.

"We don't feel that his methods are the… _best _way to achieve his goals."

"I hate him! He's a horrible person. I'd leave, but… but…" I was afraid of him.

"Exactly. Which is why we're planning to overthrow him."

"Mutiny?"

"Yeperoo!" Demyx piped in.

"And one more person to help can't hurt," Larxene remarked.

"So are you in?" Axel said.

"Of course I am. What can I do?"

---

Roxas: That whole chapter was just to bring up more plot, wasn't it?

Psychoticbunny: You bet it was! Again, sorry about the late update. I'm trying!

Roxas: And failing.

Psychoticbunny: Shut up. Anyway, if anyone wants me to do a Halloween fic for a certain pairing, do tell. I'll write Kingdom Hearts or Naruto. You choose. Just no Romine, SoKairi, Sasusaku, Naruhina, or Narusaku. Bye!


	18. Chapter 18

Check my profile for info.


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